answered prayers

Some of you may or may not know that I'm back on the market.  No, no...I can't be bought.  Well...wait a minute...if the price is right, maybe I can be.  I kid, I kid.... 

I'm single...again.  It's okay, though.  Have you ever seen the movie Some Kind of Wonderful?  Growing up, my family was big into movies.  We still are, actually...but life seems to get in the way.  My dad liked to get messages out of movies and then use them to teach us about life, if that makes any sense.  So the message he wanted us to walk away with from Some Kind of Wonderful is that it is better to be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong reasons. 

My parents raised all 4 of their children to be independent.  As I wrote in my Day 18:  What I believe post, I believe it is important for everyone to know they are capable of being self-supporting.  I know that I am capable of taking care of myself.  I have proven this over the course of the past 12 years.  In other words, I never have to fear getting involved with someone just because I know they can take care of me.  On the flip side of that, however, I can see how my independence could perhaps hinder me in a relationship, as well.

It is true that I want to be a wife to a wonderful man and a mother to beautiful children, but above that, I NEED to be happily married so that a strong foundation is built for those children.  In order to be happily married, I feel two people must be on the same page on many different subjects.  That isn't to say that there won't be some compromising or conceding, but for the most part, the basic fundamentals need to be similar...the couple needs to be compatible.

Though the guy I was dating was very nice, polite, and we did have fun together, I had some concerns.  There is really no reason to go into specifics.  The thing was, I couldn't be sure if the concerns were as a result of issues from my past haunting me or perhaps I was being too particular/picky or maybe I was just plain too used to being "all by myself" in the famous words of Celine Dion.

Now let me insert a purposeful sidetrack here...

Many many moons ago, I got called for my very first jury duty.  I thought it was really cool, but the timing was bad because of work.  I posponed it to the very last day it could be postponed.  It seemed like a smart decision at the time.  Low and behold, work decided they needed to send me out to another office to train someone.  I was to fly out the day after my jury duty.  This ultimately meant I could not get picked.  I have always taken issue with people who made up ridiculous lies to get out of jury duty.  I could never and would never claim a prejudice, for example, for such a thing.  I prayed for a legitimate reason to become apparent to me...and it did.  The case was criminal in nature and ultimately the defendent was allegedly busted with recreational cocaine.  We, as jurors, IF we found him guilty would have to be able to consider the full scope of punishment for this crime.  The full scope of punishment was 2 to 99 years in prison.  Well for crying out loud, I could not send a man to jail for up to 99 years with my tax paying dollars because he chose to throw his life away on recreational drugs.  BAM - that's an answered prayer in my book.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program...

I prayed that if this fellow was not the right guy for me, that all doubts would be cast out of my head.  In other words, please dear Lord, make it obvious to this Aggie! 

Without going into unnecessary details, let me just say that once again my prayers were answered.  Suddenly (on Monday evening), everything was crystal clear for me.  This man was not to be my future husband or the father of my future children.  Fundamentally on things that really matter...things that you just have to be on the same page about...we are just too different.  It doesn't make him a bad guy.  He's just not the right guy for me.  I'm not looking for Mr. Right Now.  I'm seeking out my Mr. Forever.  This meant that I needed to have an uncomfortable conversation.

I did.  *sigh*  Last night.  *sigh*

So...I'm back on the market just "wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin'" that eventually the right guy will come along so I can have my very own happily ever after...

if at first I don't succeed, GET BACK ON THE WAGON!

How many times have I gotten off track on my diet plan in the past 6 months?  How many times have I had to regroup, recommit, refocus, and all that jazz?  Does it matter?  Point is, I've gotten back on the wagon.

I, like so many other peeps I know (specifically of the female gender) emotionally eat.  When I'm upset, I eat to soothe my soul.  When I'm happy, I eat in celebration.  When I'm mad, I eat to calm my inner beast.  When I'm sick or hurt, I eat to ease my pain.  There is always an excuse, it seems.

I was stressed out over the whole car purchasing thing.

Finally getting into a relationship after a year of not even dating caused me some anxiety as you can't be a 34 year old woman without some emotional baggage from past relationships that creeps in the back of your mind when getting involved in new relationships.

Work pretty much always has me in one tizzy or another.

The pain in my side held me back for almost a week.

Being sick for the past week and a half has put a dent in my training plan for my upcoming two back-to-back half marathons.  My lungs are still not where they need to be, so I haven't been able to run.  I can walk, though, so I have had to reconfigure my plan.  More on this in another post.

My point - if at first I don't succeed - I just need to GET BACK ON THE WAGON until I get it right once and for all!

I'm so sick and tired of trying again.  I know I can be successful - I've proven that.  Remember this girl:

She was me not so long ago.

I know I'm not where I want to be, though, and the only way to get there is to commit to the process - mind, body, and spirit.  I need to stay focused.  I need to remain loyal to my food plan AND combine that with an exercise (cross training) program along with my running schedule to get me to my goal.

I can do it!  I will do it!

and then sickness happened...

I was supposed to run the Tomball Bunny Run 5K on Saturday.  I was hoping to get a new PR with this race since I PR'd this 5K last year.  Then sickness happened.

As I last posted, I had some weird side pains going on and went to my doctor on Monday.  She determined it was muscle strain and prescribed muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatory pills.  Then Tuesday evening I just started feeling blah...all chest congestion-y and whatnot, so I went to the store and bought some Mucinex and prayed that would kill it dead.  By Thursday, I still felt crappy and my cough sounded similar to a dog barking, so I decided I needed to go back to the doctor.  I didn't want to go all the way back to my doctor because it takes so long to see her with drive time and waiting time and all that jazz, so I went with Plan B.

With the parentals being on vacation, I had to go home during lunch to let their beloved Oliver out midway through the day, I decided to go to the Ready-Clinic outside the H.E.B. near my house.  Let's hear it for the rent-a-doctor who basically diagnosed me by asking me a series of questions on his computer and checking the boxes when I replied "yes".  Um...I'm pretty sure I could have done this on WebMD.  He concluded that he didn't think I had the flu.  I knew I didn't have the flu.  Once you have it as an adult, you remember it too well.  I explained to him that I needed to be better by Saturday for my race.  He told me to stick with the Mucinex and then to add Flonase.  Why he didn't give me a cough syrup, I have no idea.  Why he didn't give me some kind of antibiotic (especially considering I was running a slight fever), I have no idea.  All I know is that come Saturday, I was not better.

I was not able to run my Bunny Run.  I was not able to meet MayRay in the City as she ran her first 5K or be there when Lauren PR'd (again).  I was not able to attempt a PR of my own.  I am sad.

This also puts me behind in my own training for my two half marathons I have coming up in rapid succession.  Le Sigh.  I'm still forming my game plan, though, don't you worry.  I'm gonna kick this sickness to the curb.  I am.

In other news, I am dating the sweetest guy EVER.  He knew that my Delilah kept escaping from my yard because the back gate was cut on an angle, so he built me a new back gate over the weekend.  He also replaced some broken fence slats and put down some stuff to make my grass green (once I promised to water it).  =D  I'm not used to such niceness.  I like it.

Hope you all had a lovely weekend and that you stay allergy/illness free!

Happy April!

No jokes today because I'm not sneaky enough to pull them off.  My smile/smirk gives me away every time.  tsk tsk...

So, I bought a new car this week.  Yeah, that's kind of a big deal.  I mean besides a house it's the most expensive thing a person buys...or at least this person.  It's my second car purchase...I'm practically an old pro.  I wheeled and dealed my way into a 2011 Chevy Traverse 2LT.  Her name is Ruby.  Do you like?

In other news, I found out I will not be able to participate in the 2012 Houston Chevron Marathon as I will be attending my cousin's wedding in Springfield, IL that weekend.  Family is very important to my family, so I know that I belong at the wedding.  This means that I will be changing my registration for The Woodlands half marathon to the full marathon.  This gives me 6 more weeks to train and an extra hour to complete the race (as compared to Houston).  A win/win situation, perhaps?

So, what's in store for April?  The parentals leave for vacation tomorrow which means I will be pulling dog duty at their house for an entire week.  Perhaps this go-around I will actually take advantage of their home gym.  Yes?

I have the Tomball Bunny Run 5K on April 9th.  This is my second repeat race for the year and my second 5K for the year.  Consequently, last year's run gave me my current PR.  I'm hoping to outdo myself and PR-it again.  It's possible cuz I am KIMpossible.  yeah...and a total cheeseball, clearly.  Lauren and Meredith are going to be running their hearts out with me.  Who else is in?

Later that night, I have a date to the Rocket's Game (and killer seats, I might add)!

On April 20th, my brother and sister-in-law are coming into town to celebrate Easter.  I was thinking I was going to be an only child that day as both of my sisters are abandoning the family on Easter in favor of their stupid tropical vacations, but I'm not bitter or anything.  I haven't seen Eddie and April since Thanksgiving, so I am excited about their visit!

On April 23rd, I will run my 2nd half marathon for the year - The Hippity Roc Half in Cypress, TX.  If I get my lazy booty into gear and if it isn't too hot out there, who knows, perhaps another PR?  I'm on a roll here!

Of course, we know that April 24th is Easter AND it's my double cousin Danielle's birthday - 17 - ye gads.

Last, but not least, I leave out on April 30th for my vacation.

What big plans are in store for YOU this month?

Day 10 - First Kiss / First Love

Just whipping through the list of my 30 Day Challenge...


Day 10 - Discuss your fist love and your first kiss

As I mentioned in my 30 Interesting Facts post (Day 06), I was 22 when I had my first kiss.  That was a bit late in life, eh?  Having been a late-lifer in that area, I wish I could say there was some great romantical story to go along with that kiss, but...eh...not so much.  I met JonathAn...or was it JonathOn (roommate and friend Laura questioned him at the time and I honestly don't recall his answer) on a Friday night maybe sometime in March of my senior year.  He was the 24 year old older brother of one of our neighbors visiting for the weekend.  Laura's boyfriend at the time lived in Houston and arrived pretty late to come up and visit for the weekend.  I had hostessed a dinner party earlier in the evening, serving lasagna, but I didn't use enough sauce.  I made some extra for the side, but sadly the extra sauce was depleted by the time Brian arrived.  I did what I always have done - played defense so that I wouldn't be offended.  This means I went ahead and apologized while serving Brian for the dry lasagna.  Once he was done eating it, he thanked me and said, "you were right."  I said, "huh?"  He answered, "it was a bit dry."  JERK.  That was unnecessary and it hurt my feelings.  I went outside to pout and there entered Jonathan.  He asked for a piece of the infamous lasagna and told me it was perfect.  The next night I may or may not have consumed WAY too much alcohol when a group of us went out to a nearby bar.  No worries, Brian was our designated driver.  After we left the bar, we went to Walmart to get ice cream.  I brought Jonathan some ice cream (apparently I liked to feed him) and one thing lead to another and I totally made out with him.  First kiss.

and that had to hold me over until my second kiss which wasn't until 7 years later with the guy who became my first love....

Did you read my Religion post (Day 04)?  If so, I mentioned this bad news bear.

Basically, I was a 29 year old girl who had the experience of a 16 year old girl (or younger).  By that time, I was desperate to fall in love and I was quick to do so without regard for my own well-being.  Warning signs were ignored not because I didn't see them or because I was ignorant or even because I didn't know better, but rather because I excused them away and somehow made them okay.  I needed the things he did or said to be okay because I needed him.  or...at least I thought I did.  So many times I told myself to walk away (I should have run), but I couldn't.  He was my drug.  I was on a daily emotional roller coaster with him - anxiety and depression flooding my very being.  I craved the sweet side of him and whenever I caught a glimpse of that guy, it held me over through the mean and ugly side of him (which definitely occurred more often).  He was a Dr. Jeckyl / Mr. Hyde and as our relationship progressed, so did his mood swings.

I kept a journal of sorts while dating him.  I finally deleted the journal last week (see here).  This was 3+ years after the relationship ended one of the worst ways a relationship can possibly end.  I liked to torture myself periodically by reading the entries of this journal and seeing how pathetic I was for nearly 2 years of my life.  I decided to forgive myself last week and move on.  I cannot change the past, but I can learn from it.  It was an abusive relationship that forced me to learn an emotionally expensive lesson.  First love.

a glimpse at my week

Well, first of all I've been drinking water like it's my job.  true story.  Went out to do my 10-miler on Sunday and let's just say it didn't end up being 10 miles.  Someone was dehydrated.  someone never learns.  So, the cup and I have become one.

my new camera!

Last week I received a call inquiring as to whether or not I wanted to participate in a focus group.  Hmmm...I'm all about helping my fellow marketers...I mean Marketing was my major in college and all that jazz, but what was in it for me?  Oh...$100, well okay.  So on Monday, I headed over to the Galleria area for a 2 hour focus group regarding the purchase of my mattress.  They fed me dinner.  I had a few laughs with the other focus group panel members.  They sent me on my way with $100.  So guess who had some extra cash to apply to her new camera fund?  This girl!  If you are wondering what happened to my former camera, see here.

Tuesday I decided to get all wild and cRaZy and sign up for Beach Palooza.  That Rachel - I'm telling you - she sure does some whackadoo things (like The Warrior Dash this past weekend) and this time I decided to jump on her band wagon.  Beach Palooza is a 5K obstacle course taking place in Galveston on September 24th.  If you are interested, register by March 29th to get the lower price of $35.  You get a t-shirt, a pineapple hat (who doesn't need one of those?) and a finisher's medal.  We all know how I feel about medals!  This could be a really fun bloggy meet-up...*hint, hint*

Wednesday I cooked dinner for a fella.  We ate my buffalo chicken and watched some tv.  It was his first time to meet my monsters.  They were shockingly on their best behavior.  Penelope pulled a rag toy out of the toy bin for him to throw for her so they could play fetch.  In case you are just tuning in, Penelope is blind.  I don't know what got into her, but this wasn't the first time.  A few months ago, she pulled the same stunt when LaShaune came over for the first time after we went to see a play.  My weird little wonder-pup.

Oh and I finalized my outfit for my half marathon that is this Sunday - the Dallas RnR.  *gulp*  I'm not ready for it.  Someone (me) has allowed her A.D.D. to kick in and distractions have led me astray from my training.  Ah well...I'm gonna go out there and do my best and then kick my A.D.D. to the curb for the next two I have lined up in rapid succession.  I shall wear a white Nike dri-fit tank, black Nike capris, and a pink Nike hat (the pink hat is in honor of my good friend That Pink Girl who is coming on out to cheer me on).

Last, but not least, I decided it was time for me to leave some emotional crap behind me, so I deleted about 200 emails (a journal of sorts) which I had saved in a special file.  These emails spanned across a very painful 2 years for me.  I had been torturing myself lately by reading them and felt it healthy to "destroy" them.  We can't change the past, that is for sure.  It is true we can learn from it, but beating our selves up over it never did anyone any good.  I feel a bit cleansed.

Tonight I head to Fort Worth. 

How's your week going, my little gumdrops?

my birthday: a tale of happy mixed with a bit of woe

I'm a little upset about something.  Well...okay, a lot upset about something.  I have been making an effort to take more pictures of my life.  It doesn't come naturally.  We weren't raised this way.  Sure, sure...there are pictures here and there, but then I have some friends who are so good at capturing the moments of life and it makes me super jealous that they just know what to do and when to do it.

I bring my camera with me everywhere I go just in case I remember to whip it out on a whim.  Rarely do I purposely plan in advance for its use (bad blogger).  I had it with me on Friday night, my birthday, for the friend celebration (remember how I celebrated my fake birthday with family a week ago?).  I decided to do the same thing I did last year - a dinner gathering at Los Cucos.  This year was a bit different as I actually had a date.  =D  Older sister Cathy surprised me by bringing a turtle cake from Rao's, so I had her take a picture of that.  Then I took some pics of my party peeps.  I handed off my camera to others to take pictures of the people I couldn't get, including me with my date (the first picture of us).  I must have forgotten to put my camera back in its rightful place in my purse once it was handed back to me because the next day I noticed it was missing.

After family lunch at Red Robin on Saturday, I went over to Los Cucos to inquire as to whether or not they had found it.  Nope - no one had seen it.  Hmmm...me thinks there is a thief amongst them.

So...now I am sad.

I did manage to download a couple of pics on Friday at work before I left for the day.  I must have had a 6th sense that my camera was going to disappear.

This is a picture of the cake my mom ordered from R.J. Goodies and brought to work for me.  My dudes at work think every 3rd Friday of the month should be cake and ice cream day, by the way.

This is a picture of the red roses that were delivered to me.  They were completely unexpected, so very beautiful, and most appreciated.  ;)

My parents took me to lunch, I was able to unite some of my friends and some of my siblings (brother Eddie and sister-in-law April not in attendance since they live in Los Angeles) for my dinner, and I got some MORE really great presents!  I was gifted with a lot of great books, so I best get to reading!!!  I also got the earphones I wanted - I put them to the test on Sunday and loved them!  yay!

Despite the camera incident AND the fact I had to work on my birthday, it was a wonderful day!

I have thought about going to local pawn shops and asking if they have the camera that fits my battery charger and picture uploader.  Wouldn't it be cool to turn this into a Cinderella story of sorts?  They can have it back as soon as I get my pics.  *sigh*

Day 02 - In 10 Years...

In case you are not in the know, I've decided to do a 30 Day Challenge, only it won't be completed in 30 days cuz I roll down a path less traveled, yo.

I am currently on Day 02 - Where you'd like to be in 10 years.

Do you think this question would be easier answered if you were already married and/or if you had all the children you planned on having?  yes? no? maybe so?

I remember back about 9 years ago or so one of my employees asked me where I saw myself in 10 years.  I told him it was impossible to answer as I had no way of knowing if I would be single or married, if I would be childless or a mother.  He said it shouldn't matter and I begged to differ.  Hindsight being 20/20, he was right.  It shouldn't have mattered.  One can come up with a 10 year dream-self regardless of one's circumstances.  I was just a kid then and didn't know better.

The only fair way to answer this is to break up the idea of 10 years into different categories.

Love Life - Please God let me be happily married in 10 years time.

source here

Children - Assuming I am married, please let me be a mother to at least one child (but preferably three)

source here

Home - In 7 years, my first and only house will be paid off.  I kinda hope to be in a new home in 10 years time.  It doesn't have to be new-new, just new to me (the custom built one I've been designing in my head for years would be AMAZING, though...).  Of course, if I'm not married, it wouldn't make sense and I would be perfectly content staying in my then paid-off home.

source here

Work - Let's face it, if you know me at all and my work situation, you know that I'm not going anywhere.  I would just hope to have even more responsibility and to continue to grow in my skills/confidence/leadership and to better tame the beast that sometimes rears her ugly head.

source here

Health - I will still be on the right path of living a healthy life in mind, body, and spirit.  My diet will still follow the guidelines of The South Beach diet.  I will still maintain an active lifestyle - focusing on cross training and running.  Hopefully I will have multiple marathons under my belt.  I better be maintaining my goal weight!!!!

source here

Friendship - I will have maintained my supremely fantastical friendships while hopefully making some new lasting ones.

source here

The outlook is good for a happy, healthy 10 years into the future, y'all.

How's yours?

Day 01 - Relationship Status

I saw that Simi plans on doing this 30 Day Challenge and I figured I would like to jump on the bandwagon since...you know...I'm such a follower.  It will give you all an opportunity to learn more about me and it will give me an opportunity to explore myself.  Win/Win?  We shall see!

I won't be actually doing one of these a day as I think it would be a bit too post-y.  I don't have a tendency to blog every day anyway and I have some trips coming up and wouldn't be able to maintain it even if I tried.  So, what that means is that I will go down the list and write about a couple of the challenges a week.

Here is the list of challenges:

Day 01-  Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

Current relationship = single/dating
Single life sucks.
and....discuss:

Well, I've been single for quite some time now.  I wish I could say "single and lovin' it", but I'd be lying.  Everyone says to embrace these days - this freedom.  I do.  It's just that the single life for someone who has always wanted to be married and to have children is a lonely existence.  Up until VERY recently, most of my weekends were spent at home A-L-O-N-E, feeling sorry for myself.

source here

A year or so ago, my mom said to me, "Kim, I know you are waiting for Prince Charming to just come knocking on your door, but do you think you could meet him halfway somewhere?"  Ouch.

It's really hard to meet someone these days.  I can't meet anyone at work.  All of my local buddies are coupled up and none of them have any single friends to even try and play the matchmaker game.  I'm no barfly, so this means I've relied mostly on internet dating over the past few years.  EHarmony and I are basically mortal enemies - see here, here, and here for proof.  I'm currently on my second go-around with Match.com.  The first time didn't fare so well - see here for proof.  BUT, alas...this second time around is getting interesting.  ;)  I've tried posting Craig's List ads.  Though I vowed to never go that route again because of the number of married men out there seeking an affair (I'm quite the Nancy Drew, don't ya know?!), I did meet a couple of nice guys who I briefly dated, BUT I also met some total weirdos.  I even tried a dating group to meet guys called Eight Friends Out.  See here for an example of what a disaster that was for me.

source here

Have you ever seen the movie Some Kind of Wonderful?  If you haven't, you should.  It was one of my dad's message movies - that is a movie my dad saw and decided all of us kids needed to see to get the message.  The message, in this case, was that it is better to be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong.  I've applied this a time or two in my day.

Oh and something that really irks me is when people say it will happen when I least expect it.  I got into the whole dating game VERY late in life.  I least expected it for a long, long time is my point and not a whole lot has happened.  Time will tell though, friends.  Time will tell.  I remain hopeful, no worries.

So, your challenge should you choose to accept it is to join me in this 30 Day Challenge.

grow up!

I'm trying to understand guys, I really am.  Try as I might...I just don't get them.

I have head shots on eHarmony, but to be fair to the dudes who are granted the pleasure of receiving me as a match, I have a couple of body shots on there, as well.  I'm not the svelte vixen I'd like to be, but I'm no longer the chunkiest monkey on the block, either.

I figure if a guy initiates contact with me, he must like what he sees.

At least 50% of the guys who have initiated contact with me shock me when they send me their Must Haves / Can't Stands list.  You see, one of their Can't Stands is labeled as "Excessive Overweight" with the description being "I can't stand someone who is overweight."  WHAT?!

I find that statement to be offensive ON SEVERAL DIFFERENT LEVELS.  First of all, you don't have to be attracted to an overweight person, but to go so far as to say you "can't stand" them is prejudicial.  It would go without saying that if you were not attracted to an overweight person, then you would not choose them, so why do you feel it necessary to then carry it to the extreme to say you "can't stand" an entire group of people?  Secondly, it would make me wonder what would happen if I were to gain a few pounds throughout the course of our courtship.  Would you abandon ship?  What if it took a bit longer than anticipated to lose baby weight after giving birth?  I mean seriously...it would be enough to make a person paranoid!  Third of all, would you gawk in disgust at relatives or friends of mine that may be considered overweight?  I mean where do you draw the line?  I just feel that at some point a person should be mature and respectful...and at the very least think before they speak, type, write, etc...

You don't like what I'm offering, then don't choose me.  If you do choose me, appreciate me for who I am across the board.  Bottom line - it's time to grow up!

Oh and yeah...he got deleted as did all the dudes before him who chose that as one of their "can't stands".  I don't need to deal with that kind of crap.

adventures? in speed dating

What you probably don't know is that this wasn't my first speed dating rodeo.  Oh no!  The first time was called pre-dating and I did it while doing the whole ever-so-healthy on again / off again thing with my ex-boyfriend.  No worries....it was during the off again phase.  A friend participated in the event with me.  When we were done, we met up with my off again boyfriend and some of his friends and then hung out for the rest of the night (and then he became my on again boyfriend once again).  See...healthy!

Since I had done the whole deed before, I did have somewhat of an expectation in my mind - not for actual results, but for the set-up, I suppose.  That was my first mistake.

My second mistake was to wear heels.  This kinda coincides with the first mistake which you will learn more about in just a second.

My third mistake was believing what I hear and not questioning specifics.

I'm sure there are more, but for purposes of maintaining my self-esteem, we will cut it at 3.  =/

Okay, so here goes...

The speed dating was offered by Eight Friends Out.  Their normal concept is to put 8 people at a table together for dinner - 4 guys and 4 girls.  Before dessert is served, they switch out the guys from another table so that you get to meet even more people.  Normally, the dinners are broken into age groups of 30s/40s and 50s+.  Obviously I attend the 30s/40s events and I'm always so disappointed when it turns out I'm on the younger end of things.  The last dinner I attended, in fact, I ended up sitting next to a *gentleman* in his upper 40s (nice...NOT) and he made some stupid comment about not being interested in younger women because he found them to be boring...they lacked the capability to have stimulating conversation, etc.  WHAT?!  I mean first of all, it's just a terribly rude comment to say considering it's quite obvious you are sitting next to a younger woman.  Secondly, to make such a blanket statement is so ignorant, it's obnoxious!  Finally, I'm bored listening to you talk, so SHUT-UP (thank you).  So, yeah...needless to say, I took a hiatus from attending events until last night. 

Last night called out to me because it was an event for 20s/30s and not a dinner.  I didn't really have any high hopes for it.  I figured if anything else, it should be entertaining.  I really can't even say that much.  I arrived about 15 minutes late, purposely, and all dolled up.  I looked good, if I do say so myself!  The event was held at Arcodoro's, a restaurant I had eaten at once before with a friend.  I got my name tag and was told by the organizer that the drinks were on special for us for $4.  Nice!  I went to the restroom to make sure I didn't have raccoon eyes from my dramatic smokey eye effect, and then went to the bar to order my vanilla vodka and soda.  It was more like soda with a splash of vanilla vodka, but hey...$4, so whatever.  I started a tab.  While waiting for my drink, the organizer informed me to line-up once I was done.  WHAT?!  Line-up?  We doin' a little line dancin'?  Um...okay.  So I looked behind me and sure enough...the girls were lined up on one side and the dudes were lined up in front of them - all were standing.  Hmmm...the first time I did speed dating, the girls were spaced out sitting around various nooks and crannies of the rented out bar the event was located in and the dudes made the rounds.  It was...kinda comfortable.  This was like a group of team players lined up to do the hand slap and say "good game!"  Let's give a shout-out to wearing heels while sporting a pelvic stress fracture, shall we?  Had I known I was going to be standing in them for an hour+ (and given additional information for the evening), perhaps I should have just gone with my flip-flops or rocket dogs??? 

There was a table full of name tags for people who signed up, but didn't show up.  To think our little area could have been more crowded.  yay.  So, there were 5 more girls than guys.  Two of the girls stood all unapproachable off to the side awaiting their turn to "date" while the other two girls and I dated each other until it was our turn.  Eventually, I just dated one of them until I was left dating myself.  That was an awkward 6 or 8 minutes.  I decided to make nice with myself and buy me a refill.  Ah...another soda with a splash of vanilla vodka.  Oh look...it's now my turn to date.  There were 8 guys in total.  They were all perfectly friendly and polite.  Some were easier to talk to than others, none worth mentioning specifically.  While dating my 4th dude, they decided to bring out the appetizers.  It's really cool talking to someone for a precious 6 or 8 minutes while stuffing cold-that-is-supposed-to-be-hot food in your mouth.  Yeah, it was like that.  After dating my last next-ex, I returned to the bar for my 3rd and final soda with a splash of vanilla vodka.  The organizer called out to me and asked me how I felt it went.  I told her it wasn't what I expected, that I had done it once before and it had been better organized, BUT that it was nice to see younger people finally (yep...always trying to see the silver lining).  She bounced some ideas off of me for future events to get more of a turn-out.  I then sauntered on over to a group of girls.  We chatted for a bit and then they invited me to join them at Taco Milagro for some late night dinner.  First, I had to go close out my bar tab.  Imagine my shock when my bill was $24.75.  I inquired about the $4 drink special and was informed that was only for four specific drinks.  Oh, nice to know.  Perhaps if you are going to charge $8.25 for a drink, it ought to be vanilla vodka with a splash of soda.  Just sayin'.  I then went to the organizer and asked her about it.  Yep..oops...she meant to tell me it was for four specific drinks.  lovely.  =/ 

I met the 3 girls at Taco Milagro and enjoyed some food, iced tea, and music.  I wish I could say I enjoyed the company, but well...one of them was friendly...another one okay, and the 3rd was anti-social.  Ah well...

So there you have it.  I dated 2 girls, myself, and 8 dudes last night all while paying a hefty price for spunky club soda and further agitating my pelvis (as in I'm a new kind of crippled now) - all in the name of trying to find my heart's companion.   Never a dull moment in this 30-something year old's life...

Oh eHarmony...

Oh eHarmony....I wish I could say we have a love/hate relationship, but really I just hate you and it's quite clear how you feel about me by the care and concern you take in finding me the perfect match.


Let's take a look at the last week as a prime example of your lack of respect for me, shall we?

3 potential gentlemen callers initiated contact with me in the past week.  It was shocking, to say the least.  Very rarely do I have any initiations at all (and God forbid I were to do the initiating), so this was practically reason for celebration or it at least warranted a kazoo and a party hat.  Oh...but wait...then the reality of it slapped me in the face and I now have 0 potential gentlemen callers.  


Before I tell you how it all went down, let's review your communication stages:


#1 - 5 multiple choice questions are sent out and answered by each party
#2 - 10 "must haves" and 10 "can't stands" are selected from lists of many and sent out by each party
#3 - 3 open ended questions are sent out and answered by each party
#4 - open communication


Okay, now that we have that out of the way, let's get back to business.


Gentleman caller A terminated contact after I asked him the 3 open ended questions I chose from the list of many provided by you, eHarmony.  I'm thinking he either didn't like the questions I asked or he had moved onto greener pastures.  Oh well....his loss.  I'm great!


Gentleman Caller B's contact was terminated by me after he sent his "must haves" and "can't stands".  He has probably been the 3rd or 4th guy who has initiated contact with me over the past several months who has literally included "can't stand overweight people" in their list.  Here's the deal....I totally respect the fact that everyone has their preferences for what they are physically attracted to.  That being said, we are not 8 years old anymore and I think you just choose people according to that preference and that you should not need to say that you "can't stand" any one group of people.  I guess I should be thankful that by looking at my many pictures posted, they did not think me to be overweight, but the truth of the matter is that I am still overweight.  Also, even if I wasn't, the statement would still offend me and it would make me wonder if ever I put on 5 or 10 lbs if I would be criticized accordingly.  So, to him and others like him I say...good riddance and grow up!  


Gentleman Caller C's contact was terminated by me after the open communication round began and fizzled.  I understand I have a vivacious personality, eHarmony, but that does not mean I want a stick in the mud.  Just in case you didn't catch our conversation, here goes:

Email #1 from GCC (him) to K (me)
Now comes the fun part. I am currently working full time and going to school part time. 
Email #2 from K (me) to GCC (him)
Hi Gentleman Caller C,

So being a shipping director...does that mean you are involved with operations/planning/dispatching? I have my hand in that pot at my work. 

What are you studying at school?

Kim
Email #3 from GCC (him) to K (me)
I do all the shipping, packaging, and take care of the operations of the shipments, as well as maintain the inventory counts, process refunds and other things like that. I am currently a History major working towards my Associates degree in Criminal Justice.

So, yeah eHarmony...needless to say, I closed out ol' GCC.  I did this only cuz my mom taught me a long time ago that if I couldn't say anything nice, I shouldn't say anything at all.  What I really wanted to reply back to him was:  UM...yeah...thanks for asking ME questions, GCC.  Thanks for your incessant *interesting* chatter all about YOU, GCC.  Oh...and I'm confused about what *fun* part you were referring to in your first email to me,GCC. 

Thanks again eHarmony for making me yet another perfect match.  =/  I'd say your days are limited, but we both know I'd be lying yet again, so...whatever.

Fruit Loop Magnet

When things didn't work out between me and eHarmony, I decided to embark upon a new journey with Match.com.  It's been interesting, to say the least.  I may just have to share some of those stories another day.  I realize it's not right to make fun of people.  I also understand that posting this could lead to the further extension of my singledom, but I just can't help myself.

On Tuesday, a 27 year old guy "winked" at me on Match.com.  Now my initial reaction was, "I am so not a cougar."  My father and brother-in-law encouraged me to "wink" back informing me that I was not a cougar.  Someone (I think it was older sister Cathy) told me the rules and it's something like as long as they are older than half your age plus 7, then you are in the clear.  So, since I'm 33...as long as a guy is at least 25, all is well?!  Whatever.

Anyway, so after my winkie winkie, he emailed me on the site and I emailed him back and then he gave me his phone number and wanted me to text him.  Here we go again with the texting!  I realize I sound like a 50+ year old not embracing our world's technology, but I just get sooooo annoyed with the relying on texting as the number one communicator in the initial dating stages.  To me, texting is like a drive-thru versus a sit-down restaurant, if that makes any sense.  People want to have entire conversations via texts and I don't get it.  But alas...in typical Kim-fashion, I've digressed...so, I explained to him that it is difficult for me to text while at work, so I will text him once I get home.  We will call him "Match.com guy" to protect his identity - MG for short, by the way.

So, this was our "convo".

Kim:  Hey!  It's Kim.
MG:  Hey how r u
Kim:  I'm good...glad to be home.  How r u?

Yes, he left me hanging.  I don't think I really cared because it wasn't like anything was truly established.  I guess I just figured maybe he had hoped for some kind of less traditional response.  Then...I just kinda forgot about him....until Wednesday NIGHT at 10:02 when he text me out of the blue.

MG:  Hey how are u?

This time my turn to ignore.  First of all, I was already in bed.  Secondly...um...you never responded to my question from over 24 hours ago.  Third of all, unless you know a person, it's kind of rude to text or call after 9.

Flash forward to the next morning around 8amish.

MG:  Good morning kim how did u sleep?
Kim:  Good morning!  Was sleeping when you text last night...sorry!  Slept okay...storm woke me around 2 am.  How about u?
MG:  Whoa what time do u go to bed usually?
Kim:  Haha...depends...I had walked the dogs, then gone for a short run, then hit the gym...after my shower I realized I was exhausted and called it a night.
MG:  Haha without saying hi to me hmmm
Kim:  Awwww.....  :(
MG:  I know that's how I felt!  :(

*Note...I don't say anything else cuz I wasn't sure if he was kidding or not, so a little while later...

MG:  So tell me something I don't already know about u that I should know  :)
Kim:  Hmmm...I can't stand david hasselhoff...we are mortal enemies.  Your turn!
MG:  I love greek food
Kim:  Mmmmmmm....hummus...
MG:  Yes so do u date much n what r u looking for?
Kim:  No...I don't date much.  Looking to date...potential long term.  U?
MG:  Me too I need someone who will grab my attention
Kim:  Been bored have ya?
MG:  Yes I need someone to grab my attention.

*Note...I don't say anything else cuz...well he just repeated himself and now it's just kind of awkward.  So a little while later...

MG:  Sexy how's ur day going?  (note:  not a big fan of being called sexy by some dude who isn't already dating me)
Kim:  It was going well until rue mcclanahan died.  I feel slightly responsible...I just said something on sat about deaths happening in 3s and her being next.  Weird.  Ur day?
MG:  My day is going well!
Kim:  Well that's happy!  :)
MG:  Yup did u think of me today?

*Note...I don't say anything else cuz...well why would I think about him?  I don't know him and really that's such a weird thing to ask someone you've only been texting for a couple of days.  At 10:15pm, I get this...

MG:  Hey sexyyyyyyy what r u doing?

*Note...he gets no response because....once again...I'm in bed...it's even later than the first time he text me after 10pm and got no response and I told him the next day I was already in bed NOT TO MENTION the whole sexy thing is really obnoxious AND I'm still creeped out about him wanting to know if I had been thinking about him.  And then the next morning (Friday) I get this...

MG:  Good morning sexy how r u

*Note...he gets no response.  At 9:15pmish I get this...

MG:  Hey how r u

*Note...he gets no response.  Really, really hoping he would just buy a clue.  No such luck.  Sunday 12:32am...

MG:  How was ur day?

Note:  That one woke me up.  I knew in the morning I would have to take care of this once and for all.  So when I woke up at 7am on Sunday, I sent this...

Kim:  Please stop texting me.
MG:  Y I just got off of work I thought u wanted something more?
Kim:  Not interested
MG:  Haha that's funny cause u were but if u don't have commitment I wouldn't want u anyways good luck.

WHAT?!  I guess I'm glad I finally told him to stop texting me or else I would have been text-message-married to him (in his eyes) by the end of the month with how quickly our "relationship" had been progressing.  What a fruit loop!

Back in the Saddle Again

Lately I've had that urge to throw myself back out "there" again. Where is "there"? Well...it is that scary "place" (note the quotes exist because it isn't an actual physical location, but rather a mental state) where you throw yourself out into the dating market. Yes, I've been on eHarmony for months upon months upon months, BUT it's mostly fodder for my jokes. I don't see any real action on there - I never initiate contact with anyone and when anyone initiates contact with me, well let's just say the match gets closed out sooner rather than later.

A few years ago during the off again phase of my on again / off again romance with an unacceptable suitor, I joined an organization called Eight Friends Out. It's a dining club for singles in various age groups. First and foremost, it gives you an opportunity to meet and mingle with single adults and secondly, it give you an opportunity to dine in some nice restaurants around Houston. When I had joined this group previously, it would be fair to acknowledge that I was not in the right frame of mind to fully appreciate the experience and/or to reap the benefits. I decided I have come leaps and bounds since then and today I took the first step and re-joined. My only concern was that the menus for the dinners are pre-selected and I am on an obvious diet plan. Before signing up, I asked if I would be allowed to make modifications to the meals and I was told "of course!" This was so wonderful to hear and so I paid the dues and signed up for my first dinner which is on Thursday, 2/24. I'm turbo excited!

Dear Eharmony...

Dear Eharmony,

I just want you to know that I'm so on to you. I have figured out your evil ploys, oh yes I have. Every time I feel like ending our "relationship", magically a guy or two will decide to initiate contact with me in an attempt to give me a false sense of hope. I know they are "plants", employed by you and that as soon as you have me hook, line, and sinker for another 3 months, they abandon our contact entirely or end it siting "they have too much going on in their lives right now."

I do have a question for you. I would like to inquire as to what your definition of "White, Non-Hispanic" means? Of the handful of guys that have randomly (on your dime) decided to contact me, 1/3 of them have been labeled as such and yet have looked distinctly Middle Eastern. This confuses me. I wonder if your employees do not know their ethnicity and/or if they are sincerely thinking they are pulling one over on the ladies they are paid to woo. On this note, I would like to propose that you include additional reasons for closing someone out:

This person misrepresented their ethnicity, age, height, etc...

This person appears to be an Eharmony employee.

Maybe you could even offer a prize (a free month?) to the customers who correctly identify who the real matches are versus the "plants". I could even help you launch this...I was a marketing major, you know!

Oh and of the "real" matches you send me...it would be really great if they were active members of Eharmony. I know that some of them took advantage of free weekends and never officially joined and some others still get matches delivered to them, but don't pay for their membership any longer (meaning they can't look at the pictures of their matches, but can read their profiles). These are not real matches. These are designed to keep the numbers up so that people feel like they have SOOOO many opportunities to find true love when in all actuality it's a shot in the dark. I would also like to add how clever you were to change your matching variables to the whole flexible matching thing. Smart Eharmony, very smart! Now everyone can be matched with everyone with the click of a button!

In conclusion, I don't want to sound like a bitter shrew. I do know several couples who met and married off of your site. I feel like they are, of course, the exception more so than the rule. I just request a little bit more honesty on your behalf, Eharmony. Wouldn't you agree that would make for a better relationship?

Yours truly,

kIMPOSSIBLE to match