Venting...

My sister's baby shower is this weekend.  It's gonna be so fun (even though it's a couples shower and I'm not part of a couple).  I had to throw that in there - ha!

My siblings and I like to group our money together to buy presents for whatever gift bearing occassion is coming our way - it's just how we roll.  The baby shower is no different.  We decided how much we were wanting to spend so that I could pick out the gifts accordingly.

Strategically I stalked the registry to determine the best use of our combined money.  I settled on 3 things, but I can't tell you which 3 things in the off-chance younger sister Linda is reading this (sometimes she gets bored, you see). 

I headed on over to BabiesRUs during my lunch break to purchase the items.  Well, wouldn't you know that first and foremost the store didn't even have one of the items despite the registry claiming it did.  Second hit was that if they did have it, they were selling it for $23 (plus tax) more in-store than on-line.  WHAT?!  WHY?!  Obnoxious.  I then went to the second item I planned on purchasing and discovered it, too, was more expensive in-store than on-line - by $14 (plus tax) this time.  I asked an employee what the deal was and she said that sometimes there are sales on-line.  Oh, okay.  Obnoxious.

My strategerie was for the purchase of those three items because of their combined cost.  I like to maximize the funds.  So, I felt compelled to stick with those items in lieu of switching up the gifts to meet the money-goal, if that makes sense.  I have no doubt I would have encountered similar issues with other products anyway.

I then went back to my office...and purchased those 2 items on-line for a savings of $40 (this time including tax).  One of them I can even pick up at the very same store I visited during lunch.  What's the point of any of this other than just to annoy your customers?

Oh and in case you are so very worried about the 3rd item, I bought that through other means altogether.  Don't ask.  Just trust me...it was the right way to go.  And...no, there is no danger of someone buying it off the registry, so we are cool.  Promise.

UGH...and now they sent me an automatic email with the shipping address for the one item directly to my sister.  I don't want it sent to her house - I specified my work address for shipping.  I've had it with BabiesRUs!!!

I will post pics and all that jazz from the baby shower on Monday!

blah

I'm in a funk.  A bad funk.  I do nothing but work, think about work, play my Zuma Blitz on Facebook to zone out, read from my current book (Wither by Lauren DeStefano) to zone out, and/or watch my latest obsession on Netflix (Eureka) to...yeah, you guessed it...zone out.  The zoning out is my version of survival mode to get me through this awful summer at work.

I've put on quite a bit of weight over the past few months.  I'm terribly embarrassed over this.  It's not just from a lack of movement.  My diet plan has just been non-existent.  Well, to be fair...every day I wake up with a plan, but my follow-thru sucks.

I've been getting sleep, finally.  That's a plus.  I'm just not happy, though, and my lack of happiness combined with my stress is causing some emotional eating.

I don't have a plan on how to get on the right track.  I know that I have to get this excess weight off of me STAT.  It is making me uncomfortable in mind, body, and spirit.  I used to be so proud of myself and now...I just feel...discouraged, disappointed, disgusted...

My training for my upcoming half marathon is a joke.  You would think I have 4 months before the race by the way I've so nonchalantly done absolutely nothing in preparation. Tonight I managed a pathetic two miles - mostly walking.  My body hated it.  My mind rebelled.  My heart is just...not right.

I have thought about dropping from my race, but well...isn't that just too easy?  What about the next one on Oct. 9th?  Or Oct. 29th?  Am I just going to continue to fall deeper and deeper into a hole I can't get out of?

No...I'm going to face the music and do The Hottest Half.  I just know it isn't going to be pretty and that I deserve the wretched results.

So...until 8/12 when I leave for Dallas...I vow to move every day in someway.  Let's see what I can do in 3 1/2 weeks.  I may still be struggling emotionally, but it's time to put the big girl pants on and do something about it.

good enough

First, I give you a quote.  I posted this on my dry erase board at work for my employees.


If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.  ~Mary Engelbreit


May Ray in the City posted a blog yesterday about her insecurities.  She posed a question:  "How do you defeat negative thinking?"


This is what I commented:  "I think we are often our own worst enemies as women. It really sucks. Whenever those negative thoughts creep in (and they do way too often), I try to spin it for the positive or counter it with a positive.  I am pretty sure it's a practiced thing.  Let's practice! =)"


Then today happened...more specifically this afternoon.  As I mentioned in my Zen-Kim post, I am making an extreme effort to keep my cool at work.  I've determined that cool, calm, and collected will yield better results than anxious, emotional, reactive Kim.  Then today happened...more specifically this afternoon.


I am a disorganized person.  This is apparent if you come to my home and/or stop by my office.  I have been making an extreme effort to become better organized at work - maybe not in obvious appearance (like my desk still looks like a bomb hit it), but in creating spreadsheets to keep track of things and setting reminders on my Outlook.


What's my point?  I have stepped outside my comfort zone focusing on two things that don't come naturally to me.


1.  Zen-Kim
2.  Organized Kim


Why did I do this?  I wasn't happy with something (myself at work) and so I changed it (me).


I have been proud of myself.  I feel like my work performance has been stellar.  I've eagerly taken on each challenge.  Then today happened...more specifically this afternoon.


Ultimately, Zen-Kim disappeared and was replaced by a crying fool.  Why a fool, you ask?  Well...because I lost sight of my own advice.  I let someone make me insecure about something I feel very secure about (my job performance).  I let other people's negativity overwhelm me.


See what I mean, lady bugs...we are our own worst enemy and our energies would be better put into warding off true enemies...you know, the external ones.  I was fighting the wrong fight.  Now, I may not be able to always change the negative self-talk that creeps up, but I can "spin it for the positive or counter it with a positive."  So with that, I decided to make a list of the things I am good at to make myself feel better after "the incident" that was this afternoon (countering the negative, if you will).


I am a speed reader.


I am a fast and accurate typist.


I have nice lips.


I am witty.


I am a talented home decorator.


I am a creative cook.


I am a super star playing Zuma Blitz.


I have some mad logistical skills.


I am good enough.  Are you?  Make your own list to remind yourself that you are, indeed!  Know it!  Live it!

Day 03 - Drugs & Alcohol

Just a little update...I've taken the plunge and I'm doing THE CHALLENGE, the 30 Day Challenge, that is.  I'm on Day 03 right now.

Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.

I have some strong opinions on half of this subject matter.  Let's get started, shall we?

source here

Drugs - Call me a dork, if you'd like, but I belonged to an anti-drug group in high school.  We went out to the Elementary schools to talk to them about "just sayin' no".  In college, I found a similar group and did the same thing.  It's always been important to me to spread that kind of message to the young and impressionable.

Here's my two cents on the subject matter:  unless we are speaking of prescription or over-the-counter drugs, they are illegal.  I can honestly say I have never partaken in any illegal drugs.  That being said, I do not judge those who HAVE (notice the past tense).  I understand that there is a lot of peer pressure out there.  I understand that people make mistakes.  What I don't understand is people who are old enough to know better and still choose that route.  How does one tell their children not to do drugs when they are using?  I get annoyed with the whole yuppy "I can be successful and still smoke pot" mentality.  What's the point?  Oh...and it smells icky.

Prior to starting my freshman year in college, I had the opportunity to take some exams to receive college credit.  One of those exams was a written essay.  There were multiple topics handed out randomly throughout the classroom.  I received "should drugs be legalized?".  This was easy for me to discuss.  I understand some people feel like this would help our economy - court costs would be decreased, law enforcement resources could be focused elsewhere, jobs could be created.  I also understand that laws would have to be created like age limits and whatnot.  How many kids under the age of 21 currently drink?  Exactly.  It would be worse.  For the record, I tested out of Freshman English.

Okay, I will get off my soap box and move on...

Alcohol - I have gone through my wild days.  Fortunately, I mostly waited until I was 21, but that's because I was/am a mcwimpy and was always afraid of getting busted.  I've had moments of drunkenness.  I've had good times.

She drinks a whiskey drink, she drinks a vodka drink
She drinks a Lager drink, she drinks a cider drink
She sings the songs that remind her of the good times
She sings the songs that remind her of the best times

I've had bad times, too, though.   

Back at the end of '08 to the first third of '09, I went through a VERY bad phase.  I found myself drinking more and crying often.  I used to at least be a happy drinker.  I somehow became sad and pathetic.  I took myself off of drinking for several months.  My thought process was "I used to drink and laugh and now I drink and cry.  Until I can learn to laugh again, I just won't drink."  I worked on me.  There was a lot to work on.  It took a while, but eventually I crawled out of the hole.  Now I enjoy the occasional adult beverage.  When I do, it is done so in the spirit of laughter.  No more tears in a beer for this girl!

So there you have my thoughts on the matters at hand.
illegal drugs = not cool; alcohol in moderation (or when you don't have to drive) = cool

oh Valentine's day...we meet again.

Do you know I've only celebrated one Valentine's Day in my whole life?  'Tis true.  Well...I mean one Valentine's Day with a dude.  I wish I could say I loved it (even though he did put forth a significant effort that day), but there was so much drama leading up to it and so much drama afterwards, that looking back I might as well not even have celebrated it at all. 

Of course there was that one year (many many years ago) when Becky and I went out on our Lonely Hearts date to The Potatoe Patch and...hmmm...I think to a movie, too.  I've had other such good times with my single girlfriends, but let's face it...when everyone else is all lovey dovey and all the stores are filled with chocolate, roses, and hearts...you want your heart to be all filled with love, your stomach filled with chocolate, and your arms filled with roses...all from that special GUY.

There have been times when people in my life have surprised me with special little things to let me know they care.  Just last week I received a package from a very thoughtful friend.  Amongst cute little things like Valentine's napkins and a cute pad of paper, there was a cd of some of her favorite songs. 

Today, I returned to work after taking Oliver (my parent's beloved) to the vet (he is now sporting a cone and is none to happy about it) and found this in my office:

Such a nice little gesture goes a long way in my book.  See how lucky some guy will be to have me some day?  I don't need the moon and the stars...

Yes, yes...I know it's a "fake holiday" or whatever people say who either don't care or are trying to make themselves feel better or are trying to make those of us who are lonely feel better, but still...come on...it's Valentine's Day. 

Last year I wrote about Valentine's Day being my nemesis holiday.  My brother strongly believes that everyone has nemesi (plural form?) in all categories of life, mind you, hence the labeling of such.  Nothing has changed...still hate it.  Maybe that's cuz nothing has changed in my love-life department...still hate that, too, while we are at it.

People say to be patient.  People say it will happen when you least expect it.  People say not to give up hope.  People say to be thankful to have these days / this time to do as I please.  People say lots of stuff.  They mean well.  I know they do.  I'm just lonely. 

Someday, maybe things will change.  In the meanwhile I guess I should be thankful Valentine's Day didn't fall on a weekend this year, that I'm not involved in an unhealthy relationship, and that I have family, friends, and dogs who do love me.

For those of you who are in love, I do wish you and yours a Happy Valentine's Day.

For those of you who are like me...well...better luck next year.  =/

(by the way - the pic up above is just a sampling of my mother's holiday decor...including the infamous goose)

a little venting is good for the soul

Some chick calls me from the hospital where I had that fateful bone scan that pronounced my pelvis to be unfit for running.  Well...correction...she apparently called my mom and dad's house and left a message.  My mother mistakenly thought she was calling for my father and gave my father the number to call the chickadee back.  After waiting for 100 years, he finally spoke to her just to find out she wasn't calling for him, but rather me.  Oh yeah...they had my parent's number on file for me.  nice.  I haven't lived with my parents since a brief 2 month stint between graduating college and getting my own apartment.  They had this particular number for me, however, as a result of my two knee surgeries that were performed on their premises some 16 and 11 years ago, respectively.

She informed me that I owe the hospital $237.38 and wants to know how I would like to pay that.  WHAT?  Wait just a minute.  Why do I owe money?  She explains that I only paid some of the cost of what I owed.  Um...I paid what you people told me I owed at the time of the procedure.  If it was more than that, you should have said so.  I don't really understand.  Furthermore, I feel like I'm under attack by some Guido.  Dude - send a bill like a normal person so I have a chance to look it over and figure out what's going on.  Don't expect me to blindly pay you to get you off my back. 

I'm still confused as to how they came up with the random dollar figure I paid at the time of the procedure - $639.08.  I know we have some weird deductible thing going on at my work, but still.  Anyway, I'm in the process of straightening the whole thing out.  Here's what I do know...if I do owe any additional money, it's no more than $110.91.  It's possible I don't owe anything at all or that I'm owed some money back, too.  Confusing?  You betcha! 

Anyway...don't treat me like I'm some slouch who doesn't pay her bills and make sure you have my information correct in the system.  How is it possible that you spent 15 minutes with me having me fill out paperwork before my procedure, that you accepted payment from me, performed a procedure on me, and  accessed my insurance information, yet you don't have my correct/current address and phone number?  I bet they did send a paper bill TO MY PARENT'S OLD ADDRESS - the house I grew up in.  lame.

Okay, done venting.

no shrimp for me and other woes

My thyroid has been out of whack for a couple of years now.  I'm on Levoxyl.  I take a little pill every morning and then wait 30 minutes before eating.  I guess my doctor had some concerns about my age and the need to "fix" my thyroid.  She took that into consideration along with the fact that after a year of medication, it was still slightly out of whack and decided she wanted me to have an ultrasound done on my thyroid.  Well given the fact that my deductible was all paid for after that fateful bone scan, I thought it best to do it before the new year, so I did it on 12/28.

It was no big deal, really.  I went in a half hour before my appointment to "check in".  They had previously given me some forms to fill out - homework, if you will.  The technician came out to get me and had me lay down on the table.  She moved the collar of my clothing out of the way.  She then used the ultrasound on my throat in search of my thyroid and took several pictures.  It was a very fast process.  I asked her how long before I would hear anything.  She told me 3 to 4 business days unless they found something wrong - then I would hear something back much sooner.

I didn't hear anything back.  I assumed that meant all was well.  I actually kinda forgot about it.  On Wednesday night, 1/12, I went for a run and grabbed my mail on the way back in.  I saw a letter from my doctor's office.  I assumed it was the obligatory letter letting me know all was well.  I meant to open it, but since we all know I have A.D.D., well...  On Thursday night, I was cleaning up the kitchen after eating dinner and remembered the letter.  I opened it and didn't quite understand what I was looking at.  Basically, the letter included an imaging order for a "Thyroid with Uptake" and the letter said something along the lines that they had discovered a thyroid nodule and needed a scan of my thyroid for further information.

I was very upset by this.  I figured since I hadn't received a phone call, all was well.  Also, this was all Greek to me. I literally had to look up some of the terminology on the Internet to figure out what was going on.  When I do see my doctor next, she will hear about this.  I am certain that protocol was for me to receive a phone call.  I am certain that there was a break in the system. 

Okay, so I went to try to schedule this on Friday morning.  Apparently everyone was too busy in Imaging to take the call, so I got voicemail.  It said someone would return my call within 24 business hours.  I waited until Monday afternoon when I hadn't heard back and tried again.  This time I was able to get a hold of someone.  I found out they want me off my thyroid meds for 14 days (crazy considering everything I read on-line said 5-7 days) before I do the test.  They also want me to avoid consuming iodine.  She specified not to eat shellfish.  I was getting ready to make gumbo tonight with chicken, sausage, and shrimp.  I just bought the shrimp at lunch today, too.  I know I can make it without the shrimp, but it makes me sad.

I have to go in on Monday, 1/31, and get the iodine injection? (it's either a pill or a shot - not sure which).  I return 4 hours later for them to take a reading.  I then return on Tuesday, 2/1, 20 hours later for another reading.  I guess ultimately they are trying to discover the nature of the nodule - to make sure it is not cancerous.  The chances of it being so are slim to none, but still...

So, there's that going on right now.

No shrimp for me.  Bubba Gump wouldn't be too happy about this.

grow up!

I'm trying to understand guys, I really am.  Try as I might...I just don't get them.

I have head shots on eHarmony, but to be fair to the dudes who are granted the pleasure of receiving me as a match, I have a couple of body shots on there, as well.  I'm not the svelte vixen I'd like to be, but I'm no longer the chunkiest monkey on the block, either.

I figure if a guy initiates contact with me, he must like what he sees.

At least 50% of the guys who have initiated contact with me shock me when they send me their Must Haves / Can't Stands list.  You see, one of their Can't Stands is labeled as "Excessive Overweight" with the description being "I can't stand someone who is overweight."  WHAT?!

I find that statement to be offensive ON SEVERAL DIFFERENT LEVELS.  First of all, you don't have to be attracted to an overweight person, but to go so far as to say you "can't stand" them is prejudicial.  It would go without saying that if you were not attracted to an overweight person, then you would not choose them, so why do you feel it necessary to then carry it to the extreme to say you "can't stand" an entire group of people?  Secondly, it would make me wonder what would happen if I were to gain a few pounds throughout the course of our courtship.  Would you abandon ship?  What if it took a bit longer than anticipated to lose baby weight after giving birth?  I mean seriously...it would be enough to make a person paranoid!  Third of all, would you gawk in disgust at relatives or friends of mine that may be considered overweight?  I mean where do you draw the line?  I just feel that at some point a person should be mature and respectful...and at the very least think before they speak, type, write, etc...

You don't like what I'm offering, then don't choose me.  If you do choose me, appreciate me for who I am across the board.  Bottom line - it's time to grow up!

Oh and yeah...he got deleted as did all the dudes before him who chose that as one of their "can't stands".  I don't need to deal with that kind of crap.

visions of races dance through my head

I feel a wee bit pathetic as I sit on my love seat this Saturday night, alone.  Well...I have one dog who managed to manipulate her way onto my lap and another who is hogging my foot space, but you get the idea.  What am I doing here?  Ahhh...well...I'm shopping, but not for Christmas presents as you might think.  Nope, I'm shopping for races.  I'm longingly looking up info for anything from local 5Ks to out of town half marathons starting anytime after February 1st.

Officially, so far, I'm only signed up for a 10K in Houston on 3/12 and a half marathon in Dallas on 3/27.  I want to add so many more races to this list, but I know it would be irresponsible at this point considering the last two races I registered for I am unable to participate in.  It hurts me that there is a half marathon going on tomorrow that I registered for 2 1/2 months ago and that I cannot run.  It hurts me that I cannot run at all right now and that I'm not 100% sure when I will be able to do so again.  I need to run.  I need to race.  I need to know that even though I'm not very good at running or racing, I can put time and energy into something and feel a sense of accomplishment while I'm doing it.  Right now I just feel depressed.  So, I shop for races.

There is a local 5K on 2/12 I have my eye on.
There is a local 10K on 2/26 I am considering.
There is a half marathon on 5/1 in Orange County that would be cool to do.

You see, I didn't run any races in May, June, or July this year and thus noticed a lack of enthusiasm in my runs during those months.  2011 isn't going to go down like that.  I want to have a minimum of one race per month, but ideally two if I can swing it in the schedule!  Races bring forth a certain excitement to the game - an adrenaline rush.  I need that!  I crave that!

*sigh*  I just need to get better, so I can officially sign up for these 3 races and many more!

adventures? in speed dating

What you probably don't know is that this wasn't my first speed dating rodeo.  Oh no!  The first time was called pre-dating and I did it while doing the whole ever-so-healthy on again / off again thing with my ex-boyfriend.  No worries....it was during the off again phase.  A friend participated in the event with me.  When we were done, we met up with my off again boyfriend and some of his friends and then hung out for the rest of the night (and then he became my on again boyfriend once again).  See...healthy!

Since I had done the whole deed before, I did have somewhat of an expectation in my mind - not for actual results, but for the set-up, I suppose.  That was my first mistake.

My second mistake was to wear heels.  This kinda coincides with the first mistake which you will learn more about in just a second.

My third mistake was believing what I hear and not questioning specifics.

I'm sure there are more, but for purposes of maintaining my self-esteem, we will cut it at 3.  =/

Okay, so here goes...

The speed dating was offered by Eight Friends Out.  Their normal concept is to put 8 people at a table together for dinner - 4 guys and 4 girls.  Before dessert is served, they switch out the guys from another table so that you get to meet even more people.  Normally, the dinners are broken into age groups of 30s/40s and 50s+.  Obviously I attend the 30s/40s events and I'm always so disappointed when it turns out I'm on the younger end of things.  The last dinner I attended, in fact, I ended up sitting next to a *gentleman* in his upper 40s (nice...NOT) and he made some stupid comment about not being interested in younger women because he found them to be boring...they lacked the capability to have stimulating conversation, etc.  WHAT?!  I mean first of all, it's just a terribly rude comment to say considering it's quite obvious you are sitting next to a younger woman.  Secondly, to make such a blanket statement is so ignorant, it's obnoxious!  Finally, I'm bored listening to you talk, so SHUT-UP (thank you).  So, yeah...needless to say, I took a hiatus from attending events until last night. 

Last night called out to me because it was an event for 20s/30s and not a dinner.  I didn't really have any high hopes for it.  I figured if anything else, it should be entertaining.  I really can't even say that much.  I arrived about 15 minutes late, purposely, and all dolled up.  I looked good, if I do say so myself!  The event was held at Arcodoro's, a restaurant I had eaten at once before with a friend.  I got my name tag and was told by the organizer that the drinks were on special for us for $4.  Nice!  I went to the restroom to make sure I didn't have raccoon eyes from my dramatic smokey eye effect, and then went to the bar to order my vanilla vodka and soda.  It was more like soda with a splash of vanilla vodka, but hey...$4, so whatever.  I started a tab.  While waiting for my drink, the organizer informed me to line-up once I was done.  WHAT?!  Line-up?  We doin' a little line dancin'?  Um...okay.  So I looked behind me and sure enough...the girls were lined up on one side and the dudes were lined up in front of them - all were standing.  Hmmm...the first time I did speed dating, the girls were spaced out sitting around various nooks and crannies of the rented out bar the event was located in and the dudes made the rounds.  It was...kinda comfortable.  This was like a group of team players lined up to do the hand slap and say "good game!"  Let's give a shout-out to wearing heels while sporting a pelvic stress fracture, shall we?  Had I known I was going to be standing in them for an hour+ (and given additional information for the evening), perhaps I should have just gone with my flip-flops or rocket dogs??? 

There was a table full of name tags for people who signed up, but didn't show up.  To think our little area could have been more crowded.  yay.  So, there were 5 more girls than guys.  Two of the girls stood all unapproachable off to the side awaiting their turn to "date" while the other two girls and I dated each other until it was our turn.  Eventually, I just dated one of them until I was left dating myself.  That was an awkward 6 or 8 minutes.  I decided to make nice with myself and buy me a refill.  Ah...another soda with a splash of vanilla vodka.  Oh look...it's now my turn to date.  There were 8 guys in total.  They were all perfectly friendly and polite.  Some were easier to talk to than others, none worth mentioning specifically.  While dating my 4th dude, they decided to bring out the appetizers.  It's really cool talking to someone for a precious 6 or 8 minutes while stuffing cold-that-is-supposed-to-be-hot food in your mouth.  Yeah, it was like that.  After dating my last next-ex, I returned to the bar for my 3rd and final soda with a splash of vanilla vodka.  The organizer called out to me and asked me how I felt it went.  I told her it wasn't what I expected, that I had done it once before and it had been better organized, BUT that it was nice to see younger people finally (yep...always trying to see the silver lining).  She bounced some ideas off of me for future events to get more of a turn-out.  I then sauntered on over to a group of girls.  We chatted for a bit and then they invited me to join them at Taco Milagro for some late night dinner.  First, I had to go close out my bar tab.  Imagine my shock when my bill was $24.75.  I inquired about the $4 drink special and was informed that was only for four specific drinks.  Oh, nice to know.  Perhaps if you are going to charge $8.25 for a drink, it ought to be vanilla vodka with a splash of soda.  Just sayin'.  I then went to the organizer and asked her about it.  Yep..oops...she meant to tell me it was for four specific drinks.  lovely.  =/ 

I met the 3 girls at Taco Milagro and enjoyed some food, iced tea, and music.  I wish I could say I enjoyed the company, but well...one of them was friendly...another one okay, and the 3rd was anti-social.  Ah well...

So there you have it.  I dated 2 girls, myself, and 8 dudes last night all while paying a hefty price for spunky club soda and further agitating my pelvis (as in I'm a new kind of crippled now) - all in the name of trying to find my heart's companion.   Never a dull moment in this 30-something year old's life...

until tomorrow...

You know what sucks?

Being honest with yourself sucks, that's what!

It's easy to be in denial.  It's easy to pretend that everything is okay.  Facing the cold hard truth is hard.  Why?  I surely don't know....well maybe I do know, but I don't like to say it out loud.

Yes, yes...I'm still whining about my injury.  I am very sure you are sick of hearing about it.  I know I keep talking about how I am bound and determined to power-walk my half marathon this weekend "NO MATTER WHAT" as long as my doctor approves it, of course.  Why wouldn't he, after all?  I mean I'm talking walking, not running.  I know why he won't, though.  This is me being honest.  I'm not better.

I don't understand why I'm not better, though.  I've been taking the double dose of Calcium with Vitamin D as he told me to do.  I have not run.  I even laid off the elliptical (which he did not tell me to do, but I was hoping rest would speed the recovery).  I know that walking the Disney and Universal parks for 8 days were hard on my injury.  Is it possible that this set me back?

I switched my full marathon to the half a few weeks ago, when I was diagnosed, but now I'm wondering if I'm going to be able to do that half.  Here I am 7 1/2 weeks out and I haven't run in 5 1/2 weeks.  This is quite daunting to me.  I have until 12/19 to make a decision.  I want to welcome 2011 with this half marathon.  I want to be able to train for this race successfully.  I want to be healed.  *Sigh*  Doctor tomorrow...I suppose I'm getting a head of myself and I need to wait to hear what he says.  Maybe the cold weather is just agitating my injury.  Maybe I'm just being a worry-wort.  Maybe...

Until tomorrow...

a diagnosis =(

I have been injured for a month.

I have come to the realization that it would be next to impossible for me to run the full marathon on January 30th. 

I have to pay $10 to knock my registration down to the half marathon...I will now be doing the Aramco Half Marathon on January 30th in Houston.

It is incredibly difficult to not feel like a failure.  This is not to say that I want comments on how far I've come and what I've accomplished.  I know that a year ago I couldn't run a mile.  I get that.  It's just really hard to set your mind on something and not see it come to fruition.  In a lot of ways, I feel as though I have sacrificed continuing my weight loss for the cause of this marathon training.  I know that sounds silly because in essense wouldn't weighing less help my plight and wouldn't it go without saying that exercising (running) would help that plight?!  Yes, it would, but the more I've run, the hungrier I've become.  I've let the hunger take over.  I've also let frustration and depression take over, too.  You see, when things don't go as planned, I don't do so well.  This injury felt like yet another blow in a long line of blows I've felt like I've been dealt lately (the whole o' woe is me card, you know?!).

I did the bone scan today.  The pictures were sent to my doctor and he was awesome enough to call me this evening.  I honestly didn't expect it to show anything.  I kinda thought I was wasting my deductible (ouch!) getting this done, but wanted the peace of mind that comes with knowing.  What this means is that I guess I would have rather the pain been in my head and the money been "wasted" because I'm not exactly thrilled with the results.  The technical term of my diagnosis is Anterior Superior Iliac Spine Avulsion.  The simplification of the term is pelvic stress fracture.

He took the exercise bike off my list of approved activities, leaving me with the elliptical and swimming.  He said 3 more weeks ought to do the trick.  I explained I have a half marathon on Dec. 12th (RunGirl 13.1) and asked what he thought.  He said we will have to play it by ear and asked me to come see him the week before.  I am pretty bound and determined to do that sucker NO MATTER WHAT (which means walking the whole thing if I have to).  It has a really cute medal, after all.  The good news is that I have a doctor who cares, who knows my goals, and wants me to be able to achieve those goals HEALED.  The bad news is that I'm still sad, upset, disappointed, frustrated, angry...

2011 is going to be full of a lot of things for this KIMpossible.  I'm going to spend the entire year losing the rest of this weight to get to my goal.  I'm going to spend the entire year training to do a full marathon.  I'm going to become a stronger, smarter runner (injury free).

lonely

Cold weather makes me feel lonely.

The holiday season makes me feel lonely.

I have a lot going on in the next two months.  I have 3 trips planned.  One -  a quick weekend trip to Chicago for management meetings and some family time.  Two - a week long extravaganza in Orlando over Thanksgiving with my immediate family, aunt, uncle, and double cousins.  Three - Christmas in Chicago with my family.   I have a half marathon.  I have the continued training for my full marathon - doing mileage I never thought possible.  I have stuff to occupy my mind, I guess is what I'm saying.

But still...

I'm lonely.

Most of my friends are married.  So many of my friends have had babies this year.  I always wanted to be a mom.  I wanted to have three kids.  The older I get, the more I see that dream slip away.  Don't get me wrong...I'm not giving up.  I know there is still hope for me to meet and marry some wonderful man and then to have some kiddos.  I know that women have babies "later in life" now.  I know that I am way healthier now than I was 10 years ago and that I will be even healthier 5 years from now than I am now.

But still...

I'm lonely now.

It will pass.  I usually does and I will be content again.  at least for a little while.

3 deep breaths

Happy November to you!

This is kind of a cRaZy month for me as I have lots of traveling going on.  This makes me VERY nervous as far as my training goes since I will be missing 3 Saturdays of long runs with my running group.  That statement alone is kinda funny considering I'm soooo much slower than the rest of my team that I'm basically running solo save for the turn around of each mapped out run when we pass each other, but even those few words of encouragement and our little team camaraderie before we begin go along way, you know?!  I will, of course, run the same mileage they are just in a different cities and sometimes on different days.  I should flip it for the positive by way of saying what an adventure it will be to run in Chicago and Orlando instead of Houston!

I also wonder whether or not I will be able to join them this Saturday.  I'm still nursing this strange injury from my half marathon (that wasn't) from October 24th.  I know I never went into much detail of what happened with that whole thing, so here it goes.  As I was running, I started feeling a tightness in my left hamstring prior to seeing my family somewhere just after mile 3.  I remember running past them telling them "the hills are killing me" and knowing I was referring to my hamstring.  When I finished the run, I was feeling sore in my thighs and my left side from the back of my hip to my hamstring - kind of the sciatic area.  The weird thing is that I ALWAYS have total runner's knee on both my left and right legs, but this run I did not.  I attributed it to my new properly fitted shoes (you know...the ones I probably shouldn't have run in, but I did cuz I'm such a rebel).  So after the race, we went to lunch and when I got up from the table I totally had a hard time walking, but not with stiff legs as would be expected, but it was with this whole problem going on with the left side of me.  On Monday, my father made fun of me calling me "Chester" from the tv show "Gun Smoke" only the reference was lost on me cuz I had never seen it.  I made an appointment for a massage and immediately Sarah (with her magic torturous touch) was able to break apart some knots that had developed in my gluttish (probably not a word, but bear with me here) area.  The rest of the week, I did all the things you are supposed to do to heal an injury.  I tried to run on Wednesday, but it was an epic fail.  Then came Saturday and as I mentioned - I did 7 of the scheduled 12 miles and then felt crippled (even limped) the rest of the day.  The pain had moved to most of my upper left leg (as in all the way around).  On Sunday, after an Epsom salt bath, it was back to just the hamstring.  I'm perplexed.  My coach told me REST it.  He said I might not be able to run all week.  He said I might not be there next Saturday.  My biggest fear is getting behind.  He tells me not to worry - that the worst thing I can do is further injure myself by running injured.  I'm a worry wart.  It's what I do.

My mom would ask "how's that working for you?"  It's not.  It makes me feel sick.  It probably prevents me from getting better.  My mom would say "when you always do what you have always done, then you are always going to get what you have always gotten."  I know she's right.  I hate that, by the way.  3 deep breaths.  It's going to be okay.

Anyway...I spent 3 months dealing with a hip injury at the beginning of this journey and that didn't stop me - if anything, it made me even more determined.  I am going to get through this.  I am.  If anything, it's an exercise on patience - a virtue that has been lost on me in the past and something I really need to work on.  Sometimes my stubbornness is a good thing - it means I don't give up even when it appears the cards are stacked against me.

the whine

Ho hum, ho hum....I'm not really ready for this 9 miler on Saturday.  I've not been a good runner this week.  I've kinda been in depression mode.  It happens from time to time.  My weekend didn't help matters.  I should have bounced back when my car problem was solved for significantly less money than I had feared.  I should have bounced back when my all too generous parents insisted on buying me a new dryer to replace the one that broke because I refused to let them pay me back for the groceries I bought them to replace the ones I ruined with the whole refrigerator fiasco.  I should have bounced back when Autumn finally showed up in Houston (if only in the mornings and after the sun has set). 

Shoulda woulda coulda.  It's just a mood.  It will pass. 

I didn't run on Monday after work because I was in a bad mood.

On Tuesday, I was all geared up and headed out the door when my cell rang.  It was a work call - a problem - and it took over an hour to fix.  Once it was fixed, there was about 10 minutes left of day light. 

On Wednesday (yesterday), I headed out for what I had hoped would be at least 4 miles, but ended up being only 2.5.  About 2 miles into my run, I had to go to the bathroom.  I headed home to take care of business with the intention of finishing my run when I was through.  The dogs were whining, so I put them out.  I got a drink, I let them back in...then voila - it was dark.  This whole early darkness thing is taking its toll on me, I think.

I ordered my head lamp and my flashing safety light.  They will be here on Friday.  I think I need to switch to morning running.  It feels much cooler out in the mornings still than it does in the evenings.  Whatever happens during the day doesn't get to affect my morning run and I wouldn't have the weight of the day holding me down.  I want to make this transition for next week.  It would mean getting up early again which means going to bed early again.  That's the tough part.  I'm so bad about going to bed early...about getting the necessary sleep.  Sleep and hydration are two of my biggest issues.  *sigh* 

Oh and when I did settle down after my run, my knees ached so bad.  It wasn't my usual runner's knee issue, so I think it was related to the changing weather.  My knees are fickle that way.  They have been that way for years - ever since I've had my surgeries.   Thankfully when I woke up this morning, the aching was gone.

Okay, I'm done being a whiner.

At least my audio book is REALLY REALLY GOOD.  It's called Hide by Lisa Gardner.  I find myself purposely driving around at any given opportunity to listen to it.  I'm getting into this whole audio book thing.  I'm even contemplating downloading one onto my iPod and listening to a book while I run.  I have an email out to my friend Greggy-D to get his thoughts on this since I know he has done it before.  Sometimes I blank out when I run and don't even listen to the music playing in my ear, though, so I wonder if I would do that while listening to a book?  I would have to switch out my shuffle for my nano so that I would have the option of going back to music if necessary.  So many thoughts going through my head...

On a whole different note, we are moving a customer this week with the last name that is the same as the city he is moving to.  How odd is that?  Just to make matters more interesting, Jay did research and discovered that the city's founder and our customer have the same name.  They merely roamed the earth 215 years apart from one another.  I had the move coordinator ask the customer if he was related to the city's namesake (cuz you know how we are stalkers) and found out that it's purely coincidental, but that the customer fully intends to use his last name to his advantage.  Jay and I demand a recount (or...um...at least a DNA sample) because this is just too weird of a coincidence.

Oh...and this morning, I accidentally sprayed my hair with spray deodorant instead of hairspray.  I was just glad it didn't turn my hair white.  It was kinda funny.
Okay, that's all I have for you for now.  Enjoy your evening and my apologies for all my whining.

flush this weekend down the toilet

I did not have a very good weekend.  It makes me sad to think about it because usually I wish the week away to get to my beloved weekend.  Honestly, Monday couldn't have come fast enough.  How sad is that?!

It all started Friday night...er...Saturday morning.  AND that makes me mad because I had a really nice Friday evening with my parents.  They were in between out of town trips and my mom had invited me over for dinner.  I dined with them on grilled steak, brussel sprouts (don't judge me), and a baked sweet potato, and then we watched tv together.  Granted, they were catching up on shows that I had already seen, but it was nice mommy, daddy, Kimby time, so I loved it.  I finally went home and caught up on Mafia Wars and Sorority Life for a bit and then went to bed way too late - around 11:30.  This meant 6 hours of sleep before my scheduled 7 miler with my running group the next day.  I don't really want to get into too many details, but let's just say there was an hour of unpleasantries from 1:30am to 2:30am dealing with unexpected and unwelcomed text messages from someone in my past and then follow-up repetitive doorbell rings (5 to be exact) which meant dogs barking and chaos before that someone finally bought a clue and left me alone.  I'm thinking alcohol was involved.  Regardless, I was upset, angry, tired, rattled, annoyed and this meant it took me a while to go back to sleep.  Needless to say, my 5:30am alarm went off way too soon.

My 7 miler turned out to be 7.5 miles and I kinda cheated at that.  I took one little short-cut otherwise it would have been about 8.25 miles.  I never claimed to be an over-achiever and since the schedule said 7, by golly...they were lucky to get 7.5 out of me.  This time we left the park and so this time I got a little lost.  I had to ask a park employee on a golf cart to help me.  =/  I'll know for next time.  It was challenging because it was quite humid out and when the sun came out, it came out with a vengeance and I forgot my visor.  The good news is that this little cool front that came through is supposed to last through this coming weekend, so my 9 miler coming up should be under better conditions.  After my run, I went home to shower and get ready for lunch.  I waited a bit and text my sister where we were going and she text me back that they weren't going.  Well they were the only ones in town, so it hurt my feelings.  I text her back with "ok" and a minute later she called me and apologized and said she felt bad, but that they could eat with me if we went somewhere a little later and if they ate something light cuz they had plans later that afternoon.  I told her I had already eaten.  She said, "in the last minute?"  I said yes.  I was clearly pouting (and lying).  She apologized again and I accepted her apology and so we had family lunch after all at ol' faithful BJs.  I then set out on some of my errands.  There was the library, then there was birthday present shopping for several birthdays - Lauren's, Cathy's, and my dad's.  I didn't finish buying all the presents.  I went back to my house to get my dogs and bring them to my parent's house and I threw something in the dryer really quickly (you know, to iron it) and accidentally broke it...the dryer.  How?  Well, about 8 years ago or so, the knob broke off that you turn to start the dryer.  No worries, I just use a plyers to turn on the dryer.  Well after years of doing this, I snapped off the little thing I was using the plyers on.  Now, it appears, I have no means of turning my dryer on and off.  Can you hot wire a dryer?  =/  So, I gathered my belongings and my pups and headed to the parentals' house.  I got the dogs all settled and then went to get a pedi.  Afterwards, I went back to the house to get ready for Lauren's bday party.  When I headed out to leave, I noticed a river of transmission fluid beneath my car.  That can't be good.  =/  I ended up taking my mom's car to the party. 

I had lots of fun at Lauren's.  I got to finally see my Meliska - it has been ages!  I got to finally see Lauren - it has been since the Bearkat Bash.  I got to meet some friends of Lauren's - all super nice.  I hope they weren't uber annoyed with all of our running speak!  I left there and went home after 11pm.  I was exhausted.

On Sunday, I was kinda lazy most of the day.  I just had a nail appointment at 1pm, so I did that.  Then I went grocery shopping cuz I planned a killer menu for the week.  I brought all the groceries to my parent's house.  I stuffed everything into their fridge and then watched Lifetime movies for the rest of the night.

This morning when I woke up, I noticed the fridge was open.  Everything inside was warm.  My fresh mozarella cheese I had just bought, my other shredded cheese, my shrimp, my turkey lunch meat, my ham, my yogurt, my eggs, all of my parent's stuff - RUINED!  I told my dad I was replacing everything when he called me this morning.  He told me not to, but I am...well most things, at any rate. 

I had to come home and wait for the tow truck to get here, so while waiting I cleaned out the refrigerator and made a list of what I need to buy.  Speaking of the tow truck.  I called the repair place at 8am.  They told me they would have a tow truck dude call me to schedule a time with me for the pick-up of my car.  Sure enough, 5 minutes later I got a call from the tow truck dude.  We decided on 9:30am.  I got to the house around 9:15am and started cleaning out the fridge.  At 10:20am, I made a phone call to discover that the tow truck dude had a blow out and will be here in another 30 minutes.  Nice communication.  I don't mind him being late...I mind him being 1.5 hours late without letting me know.  RUDE!  We are already off to a great start. 

At least it's a pretty day.  Too bad I don't have any lunch or dinner cuz my menu is ruined since I don't have any groceries.  I don't have to come home during my lunch break and deal with these mongrels, though, since they are getting their attention now.  Guess who is grocery shopping during lunch?!  Yep...me!  Oye...

Lessons learned:  if the knob breaks off your dryer, replace the knob & don't force things into a refrigerator and hope the door stays shut

How was your weekend?  Hopefully less eventful.

***Update:  Turns out it wasn't transmission fluid, it was coolant or something that is orange.  Transmission fluid is pink.  I guess now I'm color blind.  Whatevs.  So, with the tow (he was 2 hours late, by the way) and the fix, it's a $350 problem solved kinda deal versus the $1000 to $3000 nightmare I was fearing.

****More Update:  I replaced a good portion of my parent's portion of the groceries for $60.  Forget about my groceries...we'll save that for another day.

please hammer don't hurt me (anymore)

Ever since Tuesday, I have been plagued with THE HEADACHES.  It's awful - constant hammering in my head.   At first I thought I was suffering from fat and sugar withdrawal after my party-food filled weekend, but now I feel strongly that it's allergy/sinus related.

I feel like I can't even get a sentence out without mumble jumbling it up.  Thinking?  Forget that.  It hurts to think, so I just don't.  This has been apparent in my work this week.  =/  Normally I'm on top of my game, but this week I'm gum on the bottom of an unsuspecting shoe.  No fun.

Running?  What's that?  Haven't gotten any mileage in since my 6.5 miler on Sunday.  The thought of pounding pavement in sync with my head pounding has made me want to vomit, so yeah...been a bit lazy.  I also got spoiled by that 52 degree weather and it has been HUMID and ugly out all week.  Blech.

The good news is that I've been eating way healthy and TOTALLY within my diet plan.  Maybe it was even easier to get back on board with that since I'm feeling under the weather???

Sleeping?  I've been getting about 8 hours each night, but for some reason I keep waking up between 1:30 and 2:00am and then again between 3:30 and 4:00am.  I can go right back to sleep again, but it's weird.  Last night when I woke up at 1:30am, I got up to use the bathroom and the world was spinning.  I've never been one for the tea cup ride at Disney, so I was not amused.  When I woke up at 3:30am it was because my head was pounding.  This is getting ridiculous.  I'm going to have to go to the doctor next week if these headaches don't start leaving me alone STAT!

So, yeah...pretty much this is a whiny post.  Sorry...  Tonight, I'm taking a hot bubble bath, enjoying a hot cup of tea, and going to bed turbo early because I have some crazy running going on tomorrow before I do a race - the Bearkat Bash 5K. 

Oh eHarmony...

Oh eHarmony....I wish I could say we have a love/hate relationship, but really I just hate you and it's quite clear how you feel about me by the care and concern you take in finding me the perfect match.


Let's take a look at the last week as a prime example of your lack of respect for me, shall we?

3 potential gentlemen callers initiated contact with me in the past week.  It was shocking, to say the least.  Very rarely do I have any initiations at all (and God forbid I were to do the initiating), so this was practically reason for celebration or it at least warranted a kazoo and a party hat.  Oh...but wait...then the reality of it slapped me in the face and I now have 0 potential gentlemen callers.  


Before I tell you how it all went down, let's review your communication stages:


#1 - 5 multiple choice questions are sent out and answered by each party
#2 - 10 "must haves" and 10 "can't stands" are selected from lists of many and sent out by each party
#3 - 3 open ended questions are sent out and answered by each party
#4 - open communication


Okay, now that we have that out of the way, let's get back to business.


Gentleman caller A terminated contact after I asked him the 3 open ended questions I chose from the list of many provided by you, eHarmony.  I'm thinking he either didn't like the questions I asked or he had moved onto greener pastures.  Oh well....his loss.  I'm great!


Gentleman Caller B's contact was terminated by me after he sent his "must haves" and "can't stands".  He has probably been the 3rd or 4th guy who has initiated contact with me over the past several months who has literally included "can't stand overweight people" in their list.  Here's the deal....I totally respect the fact that everyone has their preferences for what they are physically attracted to.  That being said, we are not 8 years old anymore and I think you just choose people according to that preference and that you should not need to say that you "can't stand" any one group of people.  I guess I should be thankful that by looking at my many pictures posted, they did not think me to be overweight, but the truth of the matter is that I am still overweight.  Also, even if I wasn't, the statement would still offend me and it would make me wonder if ever I put on 5 or 10 lbs if I would be criticized accordingly.  So, to him and others like him I say...good riddance and grow up!  


Gentleman Caller C's contact was terminated by me after the open communication round began and fizzled.  I understand I have a vivacious personality, eHarmony, but that does not mean I want a stick in the mud.  Just in case you didn't catch our conversation, here goes:

Email #1 from GCC (him) to K (me)
Now comes the fun part. I am currently working full time and going to school part time. 
Email #2 from K (me) to GCC (him)
Hi Gentleman Caller C,

So being a shipping director...does that mean you are involved with operations/planning/dispatching? I have my hand in that pot at my work. 

What are you studying at school?

Kim
Email #3 from GCC (him) to K (me)
I do all the shipping, packaging, and take care of the operations of the shipments, as well as maintain the inventory counts, process refunds and other things like that. I am currently a History major working towards my Associates degree in Criminal Justice.

So, yeah eHarmony...needless to say, I closed out ol' GCC.  I did this only cuz my mom taught me a long time ago that if I couldn't say anything nice, I shouldn't say anything at all.  What I really wanted to reply back to him was:  UM...yeah...thanks for asking ME questions, GCC.  Thanks for your incessant *interesting* chatter all about YOU, GCC.  Oh...and I'm confused about what *fun* part you were referring to in your first email to me,GCC. 

Thanks again eHarmony for making me yet another perfect match.  =/  I'd say your days are limited, but we both know I'd be lying yet again, so...whatever.

uh oh A/C

Normally when I go to work, I set my A/C at 80 degrees.  I must not have been paying attention on Tuesday morning, as I accidentally set it at 81 degrees - my poor puppies! 

Normally when I get home from work, I reset my A/C to 76 or 77 degrees.  A couple of hours later, I lower it to 74 - it's final resting place until I go to work when it gets put back up to 80 degrees.  I must have been HOT when I got home from work on Tuesday night, as I moved it straight to 74.

An hour later, I noticed the thermostat was still reading 81 degrees.  Uh oh - this can't be good.  I turned the unit off, waited a minute or so, then turned it back on.  It was running, but just not blowing cool air.  I waited an hour to see if it would cool the house down and nope...still 81.  UGH!  I turned the unit off, went outside with my trusty flashlight in hand to the breaker box and flipped the A/C breaker in hopes this would give it the jump start it needed to function properly.  No such luck. 

I got a work call around 9:00pm.  Called my dad afterwards to discuss it and to whine about my A/C.  He said I could come over, but honestly...it's obnoxious to pack a bag and deal with the two dogs at that time of night, so I told him if it didn't fix itself, the invasion would happen the next night.  He said he considered himself warned. 

When I went to bed around 9:30pm (with the hopes of getting up at 4:30am to work out), I just turned the whole thing off because what was the point of running up the electricity bill for nothing?  I put Bio-Freeze on my one knee that is still bothering me (which also had a cooling effect on my body - yay) and then I filled up the ice bag I use for my sore muscles after my runs and headed to bed hoping that would cool me off while I slept (or tried to sleep).

I twisted and turned for a bit...wasn't sure if it was a direct result of the heat or because I had just started reading The Other Boleyn Girl and didn't want to put it down, so I picked my book back up (that had been discarded after my bubble bath) and read a few more chapters.  I then tried to sleep again.  I twisted and turned for a bit - thoroughly annoying my beasts - and then I finally fell asleep. 

At 12:30am, I woke up to the dogs panting...or maybe I was panting...or maybe we were all panting.  Regardless, I figured we all needed water STAT, so I got us all out of bed and we headed towards the kitchen.  On my way, I thought to turn back on the A/C, setting it at 77 degrees.  Boy am I glad I did.  When I woke up an hour later to go to the bathroom, I was delighted to discover that the house was now reading at 77 degrees.  Oh thank God!!!  I lowered it to 74 degrees, gave my little pups loving pats on their cute little heads, and we all went back to bed.  I woke up at 4am because my knee was bothering me - yeah...it was basically a restless night, so I put some more Bio-Freeze on it and then decided it was probably not a good idea given my lack of sleep and my bad-attitude knee to hit the gym, so I reset my alarm for 5:55am and went back to bed.

When I left for work on Wednesday morning, I double checked to make sure I turned the unit up to 80 degrees.

When I came home, the house was reading 81.  I hoped this wasn't a sign of things to come.  I turned the unit down to 77 and waited.  About 40 minutes later I checked and it was at 80 degrees.  Oh brother.  I mean I guess that's improvement, but not much.  I turned the whole thing off for an hour, though I guess more out of frustration than anything else because when I think about it now I probably just did it more harm than good forcing it to work even harder when I did put it back on.  An hour later, it read 84 degrees - YIKES!  I switched it back on setting it only to 78 and hoped it would work it's magic.  An hour later it read 79 - it was working.  I turned it down to 74.  Before I went to bed it was reading 77.  When I woke up, it read 74.  My honest opinion is that it is just too hot outside for my poor little unit to properly cool this house.  I mean even when I was coming home from work last after 6pm, my car was reading 100 degrees and that was AFTER it had been operating for quite some time (as in that wasn't its resting in the sun temperature).

Please can we get a nice cool front through here or please can it just rain and release some of this humidity from the air?  It's been awful!  I feel so terrible for anyone that has an outdoor labor job - my employees included - I just don't know how they do it!

Summertime, Fridays, and some Food

Summertime is officially here. You probably think I'm referring to the season, but nope...I'm not. I'm referring to my job. Summertime = STRESS. I would say every day it's like I take a jigsaw puzzle out of a box, dumping the pieces out in front of me not knowing where to start. I finally will begin to put together the framework and feel a false sense of confidence that everything is going to be okay and then someone comes along and scatters said framework all over the desk forcing me to start over again. Once I get the frame back together and start working on the inside, seeing the big picture start to form, another person comes along and knocks the whole thing to the floor. Discouraged, I once again start from scratch and work my magic. Then there is the person who comes along and steals one of the pieces...well that's when things get really interesting, needless to say. Secretly, maybe I even like that challenge because I can get *very* creative.

Anyway, not to toot my own horn, but I'm quite good at what I do as long as you let me do my thing. I don't welcome interruption. I don't like being told "no". I don't want anything to do with people who cause me undue stress BECAUSE all those things distract me from working the magic (and make me want chocolate, but that's a whole different issue).

So, basically by the end of a Friday I am drained...not physically, but mentally and emotionally (because I take everything VERY personally) and all I want to do is have some kind of enjoyable dinner, soak in my tub, listen to some tunes, maybe read a bit, and call it a night. I, of course, am not currently dating someone, so I *totally* reserve the right to amend my Friday night's desires if/when that status changes. ;)

That brings us to tonight. I went to H.E.B. to pick me up some sushi. I'm a total mcwimpy when it comes to sushi. Basically I can only handle those rolls with the avocado, pepper, imitation crab meat, and cream cheese all rolled up with brown rice. I don't even know what they are called. I just know they are delicious and make me happy.

Oh and you know what else made me happy? Flatout makes these Artisan Flatbread fold outs that I am obsessed with - there is a 5 grain flax one that is only 100 calories with all kinds of great nutrition and I used to always be able to find them at H.E.B., but then they became popular and I couldn't find them anymore UNTIL TONIGHT! I saw two packages and I became a greedy mcgreedy and bought both of them because the good Lord knows when I will find them again - I mean it's been like 3 months since I've last seen them, y'all. Can't wait to make pizzas and quesadillas and all kinds of awesomeness with these things (they are totally South Beach friendly)! I then came home to my pups. I took my bubble bath. Now I'm listening to music, relaxing, and thinking all kinds of successful thoughts for my 7 mile run tomorrow. I'm gonna get me a good night sleep and be refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready for whatever the weekend dishes out!

What are your weekend plans?