These were a few of my favorite things (of Christmas 2009)...

Too many events and too much fun were shoved into 3 1/2 days of my family's trip to Chicago, so to spare you the details you don't need (or care) to know, I decided to highlight the ones you can't possibility live without knowing. You are very welcome. These are in the order in which they occurred, not in their amusement/entertainment value.

* Whilst (you just don't get to use that word enough) touring the home of one of my aunt's and uncle's for Christmas Eve brunch, I noticed they had a baby picture of my dad framed on a decorative table in their upstairs hallway along with other framed photos of their immediate family. It was sort of like playing Where's Waldo with my dad being Waldo cuz he just didn't belong. I politely asked my aunt why he was present and she said she had been told that it was her husband's baby picture. My cousin then piped it that it didn't look anything like her dad, so my aunt added that my dad had always been her favorite. Later when I told my dad the story (in front of my aunt and uncle because let's face it - I like an audience), my dad said, "Hey, I'm just glad it wasn't in the master bedroom." I wonder if the picture is still there...

* On Christmas Eve, my family all gathers at another aunt's house. One of my uncles brought champaign and was pretty sneaky about keeping certain people's glasses full. Jay, my brother in law, was one of his targets this year. Drunk Jay was hilarious and thus, he made my list. He was sort of like our little monkey - there for our amusement. One of his greatest tricks was turning from "happy go lucky" Jay to angry Jay in 2.3 seconds. Even while we were laughing, he maintained his facade for like at least 3 minutes. He was amazing and we were amused.

* I need to provide some background to better explain this next one. There are 22 grandchildren in total and we range in age from 35 to 2 (big spread). Often my siblings and I don't quite know where we fit in because although we are adults, we are often still considered the kids at such family gatherings, but for crying out loud...we are old enough to be parents to many of the other grandchildren, so things get confusing. On this particular Christmas Eve, we got kinda bold and daring and formed a 21+ year old table. We actually did turn away some of the youngsters so that we could actually have an adult (read: inappropriate) conversation. Sitting at our table was Linda (sister), and her husband Craig, Cathy (sister) and her husband drunk Jay, me, Courtney (cousin), Jeremy (cousin), and for a short while Anna (cousin). It was filled with laughter and I walked away thinking it was definitely one my favorite Christmas Eve dinners to date.

* Though I received many great presents from my extended family, one of my aunts and uncles gave me a VERY generous gift that is totally one of my faves this year - the Rachel Ray 10 piece set of pots and pans. All these years I've been using Cathy's hand me downs (which I was quite thankful to have) and I just figured someday when I got married I would register for a nice set.


* After the festivities at that aunt's house, we caravanned (if that's how it's spelled) back to the house we stay at which belongs to my dad's brother who married my mom's sister. They have two daughters - Danielle and Nicole and they are my double cousins. I found out recently - through Wikipedia, that double cousins have the same genetic make-up as half siblings. Anyway, our tradition is to do all of our gift exchanging that evening once we get back, so we usually change into our comfy clothes, have some hot chocolate, and go to town. This year, my mom bought her, my two sisters, and I matching polar bear jammies. She then, as a gift to my aunt, bought the same jammies for her and my two cousins. Look at this picture to see how cute we were! This was definitely one of my favorite things and I think the guys were a bit jealous!

* Though you probably read about it in my last blog, the whole Secret Santa thing was such a fun addition for our immediate family this year. We enjoyed our banter back and forth and the guessing and the wagering, and finally the big reveal.

* I had a VERY inappopriate conversation with my grandmother. Though I tried to use as much discretion as possible, in hindsight, the whole thing was really kind of funny. Too bad I really don't feel comfortable going into more detail on this blog. hahaha! =P

* I didn't eat a single Christmas cookie. I didn't have a morsel of cheesecake. I didn't eat any pie. I didn't have any candy. The only thing I'm guilty of having were some pieces of dark chocolate covered orange peel. The dark chocolate I'm technically allowed. I'm also allowed oranges. Somehow South Beach never mentions orange peels - maybe they just don't realize how awesome they can be when dipped in dark chocolate. Anyway, it wasn't even hard to "resist temptation" which is probably a direct result of everyone throwing themselves in front of the dessert table(s) whenever I walked by shouting one of the following: "You don't want these. They aren't good!" or "They aren't worth it, I promise!" I mean whatever would I have done without these words of discouragement?! LOL! I made a commitment 6 months ago to not partake and to be honest...there wasn't even any temptation. I really just wanted to look and see what was there. The desserts were never in any danger people, but if it helped you to think you were saving me, then I thank you! =P

* I thoroughly enjoyed some awesome conversation with my siblings and their spouses. We were naming their future children. Executive Burkholder and Earth Burkholder were thrown out there. Gandalf Girdner and Jupiter Girdner were some others. Linda also made it very clear that she is vehemently opposed to Craig cutting the umbilical cord out of fear of him making their child have an outtie (she was kidding, no worries). No, no....nobody is pregnant but we did have a fun time discussing the future on Christmas Day.

* One day during our visit, we always have our annual Bowl-a-thon with the Scholz family. My dad's first cousin, Rich, and his wife have 4 daughters who are just about the same ages as the 4 of us kids. Sadly they were short their 3rd child, Kelly, just as we were short our Eddie this year. =( We were bringing my cousins Danielle and Nicole with us this year, but there were 9 of us going to meet up with them and only 8 fit in The Navigator. My father was bound and determined to get us all in one car, so he decided Danielle (who is a very petite 15 year old) was going to sit in the back back. He even gave her a pillow and a blanket. I think the worst part was that he thought this was a great idea and her parents thought it was funny. When Linda and Cathy saw him trying to put Danielle back there, they put their foots down and said we were taking two vehicles. They saved her life! Then we spent the next 10 minutes lecturing Danielle about never getting in the trunk! We said normally she should run in the opposite direction when somebody is trying to put her there screaming "Stranger Danger!" We understand how things get confused when it's your uncle and it's a Navigator instead of a sedan, but still...no more trunks! So we took two vehicles to Johnsburg, IL through the ice and snow to visit them.

* While enroute, we noticed there were crazy people out and about jogging/running in the snowy conditions. We were talking about how nutty they were and Craig jokingly said he would give Nicole $20 if she hit the next one who jogged by. Imagine our surprise when the next one (honestly) who jogged by was our aunt Michelle. Whoa! Needless to say, Nicole didn't take Craig up on his offer. Phew! Ironically, we passed her by the following day, too!

* Thankfully, the bowling alley lets you print out your scores. Not so thankfully the additional players the Scholz family had (beyond their original 5) were far superior to our additions. This was Craig's first year bowling. He totally trash talked the day before. Linda tried explaining to him that he couldn't trash talk if he wasn't going to deliver. He made it sound like it was in the bag. His first frame in the first game, he got a strike. Linda felt guilty for doubting her husband. She shouldn't have. He had no business trash talking. That strike, it turned out, was a fluke. The Scholz family + friends beat us, but my dad kept twisting the scores around until he finally found a way we won. The original 5 versus the original 5 (parents + 3 kids on each side) and we had them by over 100 pins.

* Last, but not least, though we were delayed about 30 minutes leaving the gate, the pilot made up the time in the air and we got home to Houston on time. This was soooo much better than our 3 hour delay arriving in Chicago.

These, as previously mentioned were just a few of my favorite things that made Christmas 2009 memorable and wonderful!

Secret Santas

This year we (my siblings, their spouses, and I) decided to change the Christmas gifting game and go the Secret Santa route. We established the rules - a certain dollar figure, spouses couldn't get spouses, you couldn't get yourself, everyone had to email their wish list to everyone else by a certain date, and last by not least...who you have is to remain a secret.

We decided to pull names in Vegas over Thanksgiving. I wrote out all 7 names on individual pieces of paper at The Grand Lux in The Venetian. I then handed over the papers to my mother who monitored the process. You had to pull your name, then hand your paper back to my mother so she could determine if it was a "legal" pull, then she would hand it back to you so that you could see who you would be consumed with buying gifts for over the next month (cuz we all know that would be your one true mission).

Needless to say, I was appauled to see that as soon as my siblings and their respective spouses pulled their respective names, their VERY first reaction was to share their pulls. Really people? I mean you can't keep a secret? I was then told there are not secrets between spouses. Lame! I already felt at a huge disadvantage if I decided to try to figure out who has who because they were all already one step ahead knowing automatically who at least one other person had. So not cool. Yes, I know I sound like a total whiner, by the way.

Now on to the list making. I don't remember in what order the lists came out, but I do know that my older sister, Cathy, decided she was the designated approver or disapprover of all lists. This started with our brother's Eddie list. He sent out a 2 item list. The two items conveniently happened to exactly hit our dollar limit. She told him he must add more items to the list. He had a fit and didn't understand why. I had to explain to him that he might as well go out and buy himself those two items and then send whomever has him the receipt with a note saying, "pay me back, b*tch." I think he then saw our perspective. He then sent out a modified list with all kitchen items (he loves to cook) and Cathy kinda approved his second list, but she was still a bit annoyed because his list was void of variety. No worries, Cathy approved all the rest of our lists. Craig tried to get crafty and send his "preapproved" over the weekend, but Cathy still approved it once she read it. Nobody gets anything past Cathy, crazy kids.

The next day (or the day after that), Linda called me after finally catching up on her emails and announced that she thinks Cathy is confused about whose name she pulled and that she is very certain that the person who pulled Eddie's name was quite thankful for his original list. I asked Linda if that meant she had Eddie and she said, "I may or may not." This became our standard joke throughout the remaining weeks.

At one point Eddie slipped letting me know he had Jay, so that one I knew. He also sorta slipped and let me know that his wife, April, had me, but he recovered it so quickly that I wasn't sure if I had misunderstood. Basically, Eddie is a big blabbermouth.

So, at that point, I knew Linda had Eddie and Eddie had Jay.

Cathy called me during all of this to tell me that I had wrongly lead Jay to believe I had Eddie. I had done no such thing. I am terrible at misleading people - I have a smirk that gives me away immediately, so I wouldn't even have attempted it. I then confronted Jay about this malicious lie and he said that he told Cathy something that I had said about my person and SHE decided that had to mean I had Eddie. Ohhhh...nice spinner, Cathy.

So, my dad declared Wednesday, 12/16 as being the day we had to have all our wrapped gifts ready to be shipped to Chicago, so it was during this whole fiasco that Jay confessed that he had April. I actually saw one of the big presents and assumed he had Craig (Linda's husband) because Craig had asked for tools and in my head tools are big. When I said, "Ooooh, I know who you have..." He said, "Oh like it wasn't obviously with this big thing that April wanted." Oh...hahaha

Then, Jay decided to make a chart. In the end, he figured I had to one of two people and when he said one of the names, I smirked. The thing with my uncontrollable smirking is that sometimes it happens even when I'm innocent and people think I'm guilty. Jay took my smirk to mean I had that person - Cathy - and that helped him fill out the rest of the chart and voila - he was done and was 100% sure he was right even though I knew he was wrong.

Somewhere in here, I got an email from my aunt - the one whose house we were staying at. She wanted to know who the perfume was for so they could wrap it for me. I wrote her back that I was pretty sure the perfume was for me from my Secret Santa. Ooops. Now I was sure it was April because Eddie and April live in Washington DC and were not coming to Chicago for Christmas, so of course they would have it shipped directly to Chicago unwrapped. Later, I wasn't so sure because Eddie denied it and my mom made some comment. I decided not to make a chart which is very uncompetitive of me, I must say.

So, that brings us to Christmas Eve night and THE BIG REVEAL. Jay and Craig decide to lay $5 on the line and present their respective charts. Linda decided she wanted to reveal a chart too, but for bragging rights and not for money. The funny thing is that Craig remembered in the last 5 minutes that I had pulled Linda's name. You see, he saw her name through the paper when I pulled her name and I confirmed it when he said I know who you have. He never mentioned it to her since (hmmm...apparently spouses can have secrets, ya'll) and so Linda didn't believe him and actually decided I had somebody else when she made her chart. The end result = nobody's chart was right so we did a pretty good job keeping our secrets secret PLUS we had a great time doing it.

Eddie ----> Jay
Jay ----> April
April ----> Kim
Kim ----> Linda
Linda ----> Eddie
Craig ----> Cathy
Cathy ----> Craig

A Demonstration of my A.D.D.

I'm kinda wondering when the torture in my mouth will end. It's only been a week, true enough. Torture may be a bit harsh of a word, I will give you that. I'm known for being a bit of a drama queen, okay another point for you. Are you getting off on seeing my suffering or can you give a girl a break, sheesh?!?!?!

Yes, I realize I totally just had a conversation with myself.

So here is how it all began...

About 6 weeks ago it came to my attention that our normal 12 months of Flexible Spending Account Fundage was shortened this year to 8 months. Somehow this information did not compute when I "read" it off the document sent over by HR or when it was verbally provided to the management team during a conference call or two. This obviously demonstrates how detail oriented I am. Needless to say this should not have even been that big of a deal because that means my annual election was also not taken out of my pay check either - instead only 8 months of it was, so the whole thing is really a wash, but for the purpose of this blog, I'm being a marytr, so OH WOE IS ME, got it?!

Okay, so as of mid November, I still had slightly over $1300 to spend and only 45 days to do it in. This is a mission only suitable for the Mission Impossible theme song. Is it playing in your heads now, my pretties? We need it so that we can continue this jaunt together.

I racked my brain thinking of how I could spend this money just short of buying up enough over-the-counter meds/supplies to open up my own Walgreens which could then be operated out of one of my spare bedrooms. This is probably 9 kinds of illegal, though.

I made an eye doctor appointment in an attempt to see all kinds of doctors imaginable before the end of the year. A day before my appointment, they called to tell me I wasn't due to see them until March. Hmmmmpppffff. Imagine how thankful I was when I developed somekind of a horrible pain on my eyelid a couple of days later. It grew into this ghastly quasi-modo other-wordly tHiNg that desperately needed the attention of an eye specialist. I made an appointment with my eye doctor again thinking this had to be worh $75 at least. They asked me for my insurance card and I very proudly exclaimed that I did not have eye insurance. They bursted my bubble explaining to me that this "problem" which turned out to be a stye fell under the umbrella of medical care and would be covered by my medical insurance so I just owed my $30 co-pay. JERKS! The eye doctor told me it would go away with hot compresses in time or he could prescribe me an eye drop I could use in conjunction with the hot compress for faster relief. Who cares about the relief - I wanted to spend the money! Give the the eye drop! Now, imagine my delight when I found out the eye drop was one of the $50 co-pay kinds!

After Thanksgiving, I went to have some blood work run in advance of having a doctor appointment with my primary care doctor. This was NOT in an attempt to spend money, believe it or not. I really just wanted to see how my dieting and exercising had improved my health. Apparently, my doctor had also ordered a urinalysis. Um...okay. Two days later I got a call from her nurse telling me I had a urinary tract infection. Now I have never had one of these before (that I have known of), but I have heard they are PAINFUL! I really didn't understand how I could have something that is supposed to be so horrific and not even know it. The nurse said I was asymptomatic. Whatever. Point was - she was calling me in a prescription which made me feel all kinds of tingly inside cuz I figured that was worth at least $15 - our cheapest generic co-pay. WRONG! It was like $4.37 or something ridiculous like that. I was so mad. I mean I'm trying to spend some money here people. The least you can do is help! Then when I went in for the actual doctor appointment, she wasn't happy with where my vitamin D levels were despite the fact that I was on vitamin D pills as prescribed by her predecessor the year before, so I was hopeful this meant another prescription, but NOOOOOO....this year they had all kinds of free Vitamin D floating around and gave me a year supply. How lame.

So the next week, I went to the dentist for my 6 month cleaning. I figured that was worth some cold hard cash. The cleaning was done, asked what I owed and was told that under my insurance, I get the 2 teeth cleanings for free a year. BUMMER! Then I had a brilliant idea! The light bulb totally clicked on! I needed to get my wisdom teeth pulled out. I asked to speak to the dentist, but she had gone for the day, so they made me an appointment to see her the next week to discuss.

Now, I know what you are thinking. Who in their right mind elects to remove their wisdom teeth just to spend some FSA money?! Well just so you don't think I'm a complete nut job, I have had dentists in the past who told me I should consider it because they do go VERY far back into my mouth and they are causing my front teeth to be crooked. The crooked thing has started to really bother me in recent years. The money is there, so why not?!

So, last Thursday @ 12noon, I went in to see my dentist. She took a look and said they could come out and that she could do them today and it was my choice to do 2 or all 4. I was not mentally prepared to have them removed on Thursday. I mean I had my hair straightening appointment later that day, but the opportunity presented itself and I am a rather spontaneous kind of girl, so... Let's do it! 2 or 4? All 4! One hour later, I walked out of there with my entire face numb - I've even talking my eye balls were tingly. I filled my prescriptions for vicodin and penicillin (worth only $8.30 - RATS!) and took my chipmunk cheeked self back to work. Apparently I brought joy to my father's world as he giggled like he has never giggled before at the sight of my chubby face and the sound of my muffled/garbled attempt at the human language. We all know I am only here on this earth for other people's amusement, after all. So, then my father made me promise I wouldn't take the Vicodin until I got home that night AFTER my hair appointment. Um...okay, sure dad. I read the bottle and it said to "use caution when driving a vehicle or operating heavy machinery", so I so did and it was all okay. I'm living proof of that.

Anyway, it's all a moot point because I was just going over my FSA account on-line just to discover that none of my doctor visit co-pays are on there and none of my prescription drug co-pays are on there because Ceridian sucks big donkey a$$ and misplaced the document I signed (the same one I've signed 3 years in a row now) allowing them to automatically pay me back for these expenses, so I just had to go back through Blue Cross Blue Shield's website to find all my Explanation of Benefits from April 1st to present day so that Ceridian can use that to pay me and I discovered they owe me almost $430 for that. Then I had to call H.E.B. to see if they could get me a list of all the prescriptions I have ordered through them since April 1st and they can because they are awesome. It's a good thing I'm not a druggie who goes to a million different pharmacies spread throughout Houston so that the pharmacists can't catch onto my shenanigans, huh?! That would have been a lot of work.

Bottom line: When it is all said and done, I will still have spent more money than is in my Flexible Spending Account, but had I NOT gotten my wisdom teeth pulled, I would not have spent enough. Does that make sense? Oh, and I will be collecting a whole bunch of money from days gone by so that's sort of like a Christmas present because this whole time I thought I already got reimbursed that money. Yay me!

Oh wait. That wasn't what this post was about. My mouth still hurts. It gives me headaches and food is getting caught in my the holes where my wisdom once resided. I find myself doing warm salt water rinses often to try to remove the intruders, but the salt water seems to be killing my taste buds. It all sounds gross, I know. I'm so sorry if I have offended your delicate senses, but...well...man up, sissies! =P Uh oh...maybe I should take my own advice.

Straight as a Board

Yeah yeah, so I totally know it is supposed to be "STIFF as a board", but bear with me here. I'm being witty and clever and tying this title in with the title of my first post.

Everyone knows that you should reward yourself (or others) for a job well done. I mean that is half the fun of setting goals, right?! It's hardly productive to say, "when I lose 60 lbs, I get to go to The Melting Pot and do the whole 4 course meal - cheese, salad, meat/veggies, and chocolate." Don't get me wrong, I'd love nothing more than to hit up my fave restaurant, but as previously mentioned that kind of an event would fall under a planned cheating kinda thing and I'm so not there yet. Rewards for weight loss are probably better off not being food based, don't ya think?! On July 6th, along with choosing my diet plan and strategy, I also came up with my first reward. I decided when I lost my first 60 lbs (by January 1st - totally a head of schedule - yay!), I would reward myself with a hair treatment called Keratin Complex.

I am blessed/cursed with naturally curly hair. I don't have the beautiful natural spiral curls of my younger sister, Linda. I have a bird's nest of unpredictability. My hair likes to grow fuller outwardly versus downwardly (think Bozo)
and I have never known the feeling of being able to run a brush through my hair in a sort of "get up and go" kind of way. In fact, I don't even use a brush as brushes tend to make frizzy curly hair less curly and way frizzier (think 70s afro). I would like to take this moment to thank Houston's humidity for making my life more complicated.

The treatment is pretty costly, though Leena, my long term hair stylist (10+ years) provided me with a cost that was 30% less expensive than most salons AND she threw in a hair cut, to boot. I heart Leena! Leena and I decided it best for me to "accept my reward" on a Thursday because post treatment, you cannot wash your hair, add product, or use any kind of hair accessory for 72 hours. Eeeeek! On Monday, 12/7, I called Leena to set-up my appointment for Thursday, 12/10, because I had surpassed by 60 lb goal and was ready to receive my honors.

So this is probably when I should insert some before and after pics. I COULD insert some BEFORE pics 60 lbs heavier with my wild untamed mane. I COULD then post some AFTER pics 60 lbs lighter with my sleek straight style. I COULD...BUT, I'm not gonna...not yet. I had the unexpected extraction of my wisdom (teeth) on Thursday prior to the straightening of my hair. This means I had total chipmunk cheeks, so exercise your patience, my little grasshoppers and I will post pictures soon enough.

The next weight loss goal is 40 more lbs for a grand total of 100. I would like to accomplish this by April 1st. Does anyone have any suggestions for rewards?

Light as a Feather

On July 6th, I decided to change my life. Every morning I would get out of bed and feel the aches and pains of my 32 year old overweight body. I had gotten increasingly more unhealthy as the year had progressed. I had stopped caring. I had stopped trying. I had stopped pretending to care or try. Remember the commercials about how many licks did it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll lollipop? Well how many times does one have to join Weight Watchers and drop out? I suppose in some way, being overweight is similar to being a smoker in that you have to truly be committed to the challenge of quitting in order to be successful. Hmmm...wait a minute...you can quit smoking, but you can't quit eating. I think we just found the problem. It's so easy to cheat and then if you see results even after you have cheated, you think you can get away with cheating and then you push the envelope just a little more each time and then the excuses pile up and then you skip a meeting because you can't face the scale knowing you gained and so forth and so on. It's an endless tireless cycle of unproductivity.

Two years ago I was at my lowest weight as an adult. It wasn't through diet and/or exercise. It was through depression and axiety as a result of being in a VERY bad, abusive relationship. Once I finally broke free, I found comfort in food or maybe I subconsiously wanted to make myself even less desirable to the opposite sex...who knows, really... The point is, I gained back all the weight I had lost in the misery of the relationship and that weight brought along friends and those friends just made me even more miserable. March was a very low point for me, yet it took me until July to decide to do something about it. Interesting...

So, back to July 6th...I decided to do South Beach. I had done it once before (one of the licks of the lollipop) and knew it was do-able and that it was a healthy diet. For those of you not in the know, South Beach is VERY different from Atkins. They only share the whole premise of low carb and no sugar and then they break free from one another. South Beach is all about lean meats, low fat or no fat dairy, lots of veggies, and even fruit. I decided this is a diet I could maintain for life. On July 6th, I also committed that I would not cheat until I reached a certain weight goal - which would be 120 lbs lighter than I was that day and EVEN THEN it would be planned cheating. This means that if there was a birthday celebration, for example, I would allow myself to have a piece (small portion size) of the dessert. Until I get to that goal, however, no cheating. I am always prepared wherever I go with almonds and South Beach snack bars in my purse. What about the holidays? I have plans in place to enjoy my meals - albeit slightly modified.

5 months into my journey, I am over 60 lbs lighter. I have more determination and will power than I ever thought possible. I have enjoyed water aerobics classes, but I plan on upping the ante with spinning classes in the New Year and I then plan on training for the Houston Half Marathan in January 2011. Food cravings are gone. For the first time in a very long time, I feel genuinely happy, healthy, and strong.

Here are two pictures of me taken in March '09:

Here is a picture of me taken at the end of September '09 (almost 3 months into my journey and 40 lbs down):