Day 08 - Satisfaction

It's been a while since I've written a post for my 30-day Challenge, so here goes...

Day 08 - A moment you felt most satisfied with your life.

The sad thing is that I'm never really satisfied.  I believe I have discussed before how in my younger days I wished away the "here and now" for future days.  While in junior high, for example, I couldn't wait to be in high school.  It's like I had some vision of things being so much better in just a few more years.  It wasn't even that things were bad...I just wasn't who I wanted to be and I had no idea how to become her.  This was the trend in high school and again in college.  Next thing I knew, BAM - I was in the real world and completely clueless about everything. 

Though my heart and smile are still the same, I've wisened up a bit.  I've toughened up a bit, as well.  I'm also still always left...wanting...for lack of a better word.

Does any of this make sense?

I've lost a lot of weight, but I still have a lot left to lose.  Instead of being proud of what I have accomplished, I focus on what I have yet to accomplish.

I've run races - half marathons even - instead of glorifying in the moments post-race, I think what I could have / should have done differently and how I will do better next time.  I'm always thinking of next time before I even have a chance to recover from this time.

For a girl who prides herself on wandering through this world sipping from a rose colored half full glass, I sure am sounding like a negative-Nelly. 

This isn't the girl I want to call me.  I want to take time to relish in the joy of discovering new things and of living in the moment.  I want to celebrate the little things because they matter.  I need to feel satisfaction in the here and now, so that I can have a satisfying tomorrow.

It all starts today.  A new day, a fresh start.