I have been injured for a month.
I have come to the realization that it would be next to impossible for me to run the full marathon on January 30th.
I have to pay $10 to knock my registration down to the half marathon...I will now be doing the Aramco Half Marathon on January 30th in Houston.
It is incredibly difficult to not feel like a failure. This is not to say that I want comments on how far I've come and what I've accomplished. I know that a year ago I couldn't run a mile. I get that. It's just really hard to set your mind on something and not see it come to fruition. In a lot of ways, I feel as though I have sacrificed continuing my weight loss for the cause of this marathon training. I know that sounds silly because in essense wouldn't weighing less help my plight and wouldn't it go without saying that exercising (running) would help that plight?! Yes, it would, but the more I've run, the hungrier I've become. I've let the hunger take over. I've also let frustration and depression take over, too. You see, when things don't go as planned, I don't do so well. This injury felt like yet another blow in a long line of blows I've felt like I've been dealt lately (the whole o' woe is me card, you know?!).
I did the bone scan today. The pictures were sent to my doctor and he was awesome enough to call me this evening. I honestly didn't expect it to show anything. I kinda thought I was wasting my deductible (ouch!) getting this done, but wanted the peace of mind that comes with knowing. What this means is that I guess I would have rather the pain been in my head and the money been "wasted" because I'm not exactly thrilled with the results. The technical term of my diagnosis is Anterior Superior Iliac Spine Avulsion. The simplification of the term is pelvic stress fracture.
He took the exercise bike off my list of approved activities, leaving me with the elliptical and swimming. He said 3 more weeks ought to do the trick. I explained I have a half marathon on Dec. 12th (RunGirl 13.1) and asked what he thought. He said we will have to play it by ear and asked me to come see him the week before. I am pretty bound and determined to do that sucker NO MATTER WHAT (which means walking the whole thing if I have to). It has a really cute medal, after all. The good news is that I have a doctor who cares, who knows my goals, and wants me to be able to achieve those goals HEALED. The bad news is that I'm still sad, upset, disappointed, frustrated, angry...
2011 is going to be full of a lot of things for this KIMpossible. I'm going to spend the entire year losing the rest of this weight to get to my goal. I'm going to spend the entire year training to do a full marathon. I'm going to become a stronger, smarter runner (injury free).
5 comments:
That really stinks!!! And I completely understand your frustration. That said, we're young, and have many running years left in us. So take the time you need to fully heal, and then get right back to it. All of those races will be around when you're back :)
You need to get better...you have a real diagnosis from a real doctor. Now do what he says so you aren't out for longer than you'd like!
So sorry, Kim!! You take good care of yourself and get well!! You'll be back out there before you know it!
Oh Kim, I am so sorry that you are so hurt. As if the physical pain isn't enough, the disappointment must be great too.
I'm glad you are focusing on the POSITIVES. Please try not to get too discouraged. Many people (including me!) get injured when starting long distance training. It's a lot to ask from your body.
Take the time you need to heal, to get healthy, and you'll come back stronger than ever.
You want to be able to run your best race and if REST is that answer, then REST you shall.
There will ALWAYS be other races, but God only made on YOU!!!
Take care and know you are in my prayers.
((virtual hugs)) for your heartbreak at not being able to run the full. You have the right to be disappointed and wallow in the misery of the hard blows you've been dealt.
And then, when you're ready you'll be picking yourself back up, dusting off and charging forward. Like you've done time and again.
Hang in there, Girl.
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