I want to quit, but I know I won't. It's just that I'm so disappointed with me. It seems I was on this really amazing path from January through April with regard to my running training and then BLAH. I know that part of my problem is the weather - this heat and humidity is a huge drain on the system. I know another part of my problem is that I have been dealing with huge self doubt - like I'm a total poser having no business even trying to do this whole running thing. I know another issue is that one of the motivators has been my races - I had a race scheduled in January, February, March, and April, and then a long drop-off until my half on 8/1. Crossing the finish line is a huge adrenaline kick that makes all the pain, sweat, and tears worth everything...the further I am from those races, the harder it is to remember that feeling of victory. Then, of course, I've let my work-stress zap my energy. Finally, I'm having some IT-band issues. Sometimes, like right now, I just want to cry from the frustration.
My half marathon is in 3 weeks from today. I don't feel ready for it at all. When I initially registered, I had a plan and that plan included training up to 12 miles. At this point, I've only gone up to 9. I know the excitement of the race will kick in and get me to the finish line, but I want better than that. I want to know that I did my best in training and I can't claim that right now. Several weeks ago, when I met my mentor at the park, he suggested I skip out on my cross training (the elliptical and bike) and focus solely on running until I got to my race. I know he meant well, but truth be told, this just wasn't the right path for me. I felt stronger and more prepared each week for my long run with the cross training. I think it is just time for me to kick it into gear for the next 2 weeks and focus on the finish line. Here is my plan:
1. Must have at least 7 hours of sleep each night
2. Must work-out for 1 hour at least 3 weekday mornings - elliptical and/or bike
3. Must run at least 3 weekday evenings - 5K
4. Must take an Epsom Salt Bath each night before bed
5. Must drink at least 130 oz. of water a day
6. Must stretch before AND after each workout
7. Must run 10 miles for my long run this coming weekend!!!
Wish me luck...I need it.
6 comments:
You are soooo going to own this, Kim! KC and I were talking today about how inspirational you are. You know why, right? Because you've got this. You don't let life tell you how you will be, you shove all the crap back in life's face and tell him (life's a him because he deal sooo much suckage) how you want it - and then you go out and get it. Seriously, that's what you've been doing every day. Don't let the "him" in life get to you because you don't have to take it. Plus, you know, you look HOT, so that means that you are HOT (and awesome and wonderful). You've soooo got this!
Sweetie, don't you worry, you can do this! You're a fighter, look at all that you have accomplished, this is in the bag. Just keep doing what works for you and you will rock the half. Also, don't forget that you will have the energy of the crowd to help you at the half, you're gonna kill it!!!!
You get gold stars, kudos, major pats on the back and every other pump up I can think of for running in this stuff. I don't know how you do it so however you're doing it keep it up!
YOU CAN DO IT!! I am with you in spirit!
You totes can do this! Three weeks is plenty of time - there is no need to run further than 11 or 12 miles before your half! Self doubt is VERY powerful - you cannot let it win. YOU are in charge here. Imma send you some stretches for your grumpy ITB. You gotta be sweet to it, trust me, this I know!
Chin-up buttercup! I have all the confidence in the world that you will do awesome on the half. Just imagine how amazing it will feel when you go across that finish line AND you get that medal! You are amazing, and keep telling reminding yourself on how far you've come! Love ya!
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