I am free

well...not that you can like buy me or anything....

After babying my oddity of an injury all week long, I can honestly say I feel better.  So, this means I'm going to head out tomorrow morning to try to do my 13-miler.  I have not run all week.  I have not done any kind of physical exertion, actually.  I just took my anti-imflammatory pills, my Epsom salt baths, rubbed my upper left leg with Bio Freeze each night, stretched, and prayed. 

I am promising myself that I will stop running if I feel pain.

I am promising myself to take time off the table and to just feel free with the run.

You see, looking beyond the injury into the bigger picture, I have come to realize that I'm stressing myself out so much with this whole time limit thing to the point that I'm not even enjoying running.  I don't want to be running my full marathon staring at my Garmin fretting about each and every step with regard to each and every second.  I want to be soaking up every single second of that race for what it is - an amazing experience beyond anything I ever even thought would be possible.  Remember back to when my parents saved the day by buying me a spot in this marathon?  My dad asked me if it meant more to me to know that I would be able to finish the race on time (RnR New Orleans with it's 7 hour time limit) OR to have my family and friends there to support me (Houston with its 6 hour time limit).  I chose Houston!  I still choose Houston!  I'm not naive here.  I know there is only a slim chance of me actually being an official finisher (finishing within the time limit).  Worrying and stressing about it isn't changing the time limit and it's not changing my speed.  If anything it's dragging me down - emotionally, mentally, and physically.

I'm officially committing to myself and to anyone who reads this blog today that I am freeing myself of the chain that has been binding me.  I am no longer worrying about the time it takes me to complete my very first (and probably only) marathon.  I am solely focused on finishing what I started.  I want to cross that finish line on two feet (you know...not crawling) with my head held high knowing that I did something to be proud of!  As long as I can say I did my best...how can that not be good enough?!

On #Fitblog the other night (my first, but definitely not my last time participating), we were asked what was the headline defining our last 10 months and what would be the headline defining our remaining 2 (or...um...something along those lines).  I thought about it and my response was this:  "I Am My Own Worst  Enemy" to "I Am My New Best Friend".  In other words...enough with the negativity and the "I can't" attitude and the "what ifs".  It's time for positivity and the "I can" attitude and the "come what mays". 

I am free.