I've been struggling with my running lately. It started with my failed attempt at 9 miles back on May 1st (and then again on May 2nd) and it's just gone down hill since then. The next weekend I was traveling, so I didn't get in any running and then when I returned from vacation, I felt like I was trudging through mud. Sure, I got some mileage in this past Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, BUT...the furthest distance was only 5 miles.
I know I have PLENTY of time before my August 1st Rock 'N Roll Half Marathon...it's totally self-induced pressure...I've overcome injuries...I'm dealing with humidity...blah blah blah....yada yada yada. The biggest hurdle of all is that little voice in my head (we will call her Sybil) telling me that I'm a poser...that I'm fooling myself...that I'm not cut out for this. It's defeating, to say the least. It's disappointing, to boot.
Here are the facts - the humidity isn't going anywhere. The heat is only gonna get hotter. Time is gonna march on. The only thing I can hope to do is silence Sybil (or at least sweeten her up a bit). The problem is that sometimes she is a screamer and it's just easier to give in to her negativity than to fight it.
Instead of going for 9 this coming weekend, I'm going to do 7. It's a more reasonable number at this point. Why set myself up for more disappointment unnecessarily?
I plan on running some throughout the week just 1 to 2 miles at a time (unfortunately on the treadmill since it's too dark (read: dangerous) when I work out in the morning for me to hit the pavement cuz I don't have a running buddy). Maybe all that will change mid July when I join my running group for the full marathon training...maybe I can meet a new friend who lives nearby and wants to get up at unGodly hours with me to run on weekdays. *sigh* Until then...I need to find a way to reel Sybil in. She doesn't get to be in charge of me.
7 comments:
I hear a good way to shut up Sybil is to feed her cake. Just kidding! The mental part is always the hardest, but you are doing awesome! A few good runs will shut Sybil right up! I just wish I could join you! Soon I will be able to once again!
Mental part is the worst! I think you're doing a great job :) Way to choose not to give in but rather to fight it :)
A wise woman once told me: Ya know that little argument you have with yourself? The one about whether to eat the slice of pizza or not? The one about whether to have another glass of wine or not? The one about whether to skip the gym or not? You don't have to have that argument. It ends now. Those things are not up for discussion, because when you dither back and forth about your goals, you are not respecting yourself. Love that woman. She saved me a lot of grief. You can do 7!! Go KIM!
Kim- If it is any consolation, I have run 20 marathons and I too have the voice, especially on hot and humid days when you can barely breathe and the legs feel like dead weight. Know that training in Texas is sometimes crazy (the running group will help), but you will arrive to the cool temps in Chicago and will feel AWESOME. One step at a time...
Oh girl, sometime it is hard to get Sybill to HUSH UP! Especially in this Texas heat and humidity. 7 is a great number. You do have plenty of time for 9 and you'll rock it when you get there! Make it a strong 7 (stay hydrated) and show Sybs that KIM is in charge around here!!!
Well, I'll talk voice with you if you want, but even better, the other Kim and I have a standing date: 6am, Meyer Park, Tu/Th, and a later time on Sat. We don't run the distance you run (and last time we didn't even stop to walk - we were so proud). You are always welcome to join.
KC
Do whatever mileage you feel comfortable with and it will increase when you're ready. I hate it when my mind starts playing games on me. You'll be so prepared for your run in August!!!!! :)
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