Oink Oink Baby!

I'm an oinker. After 10 months of being as perfect a South Beach dieter as possible, I jumped ship when I landed at the bar in the lobby of our resort, the Iberostar Paraiso Beach. It wasn't that it would have been impossible to maintain my diet while there. It's just that it wouldn't have been very fun and I would have been very hungry (and...er...thirsty). I weighed the pros. I weighed the cons. I made a decision and....most importantly, I own that decision!



Have you ever seen a build your own donut bar? Me neither! It was most exciting. With the exception of one 60+ year old dude, I'm pretty sure I was the oldest person partaking in this amazing invention. There was a tray of plain old boring donuts. Then there was a bowl of chocolate frosting and a bowl of vanilla frosting sitting on warming trays with big spoons in them so that you could scoop up the frosting and strategically ladle it over your donut. Then they had trays filled with sugar, nuts, coconut, chocolate sprinkles, and multi-colored sprinkles to complete the look/taste you so desired. It was truly ingenious and I was in hog heaven.




I also need to make a special shout out to Nutella. I was first introduced to this bad boy back in college while I was on a European month long trip (for college credit). What could be better than combining the decadence of milk chocolate with the exotic boldness of hazelnut? Nothing, I tell you! Imagine how difficult it would have been for me to pass up spreading some of this delightfulness on some petite croissants each morning (yes...in addition to my build my own donut).




Then there were the nachos. Every day, Amy and I ate nachos. I can't even say the cheese was that good...it was often luke warm and kinda runny, but the guacamole was excellent! We also had fried cheese sticks as these items were served up at the snack bar by the beach which we were forced to eat at for lunch when we lost track of time and missed the buffet lunch.



Now, I don't want you to think I was being completely gluttonous with chocolate and fried. I was also bold and adventurous, trying foods I'm still shocked I tried.




Let's see...Amy picked up the cutest little tiny eggs you've ever seen. She thought they tasted funny and had me taste test one. I decided they were pickled, though neither one of us could figure out how come the eggs were so preciously small....that is until later when we found a sign which labeled them as quail eggs. GROSS!



Every night for dinner, there was a buffet restaurant you could eat at, or you could make a reservation for one of three specialty restaurants. During busier seasons they have 6 or 7 specialty restaurants open. The number of nights you are staying determines the number of reservations you are allowed to make. Our four nights meant two reservations, so Amy and I decided on the Japanese restaurant (because we wanted some Sake) and the Steak restaurant. The nice concierge man offered us up the third specialty restaurant because he was a very very nice man, so we also were able to eat at the Mediterranean restaurant. Amy and I got bold and daring at each of these establishments.



Sunday night, we went Japanese. The appetizer turned out to be a plate of sushi. Sure, there were two non-offensive California rolls on the plate (this translates to we could and would eat them without being squeamish and/or without considering ourselves to be uber adventurous). Then there were the other samples. One had raw octopus on it. Another had raw salmon. A third had some unidentified something or another on it. We halved each of these. Amy ate hers sans ginger (I love me some ginger) and then we both saturated ours in soy sauce and had at it. The rest of the meal was pretty typical Hibachi style and we were pretty Sake happy, so it was quite enjoyable.



Monday night, we went Mediterranean. The appetizers were served buffet style and we noticed that there was caviar served on avocado slices. We figured why not and had ourselves some, while sipping champagne. I didn't quite care for it. Amy didn't think it was half bad. The bottom line was that we tried it.




Tuesday night, we went to the Steak House. First and foremost, it needs to be said that this was the cutest of the restaurants. The resort decided that it should be Texas themed, so country music was playing, the waiters were wearing little western shirts, and some of the menu items had cowboy themed names. It was so cute. This, too, had had appetizer buffet set-up. Amy and I temporarily lost our minds and decided to try mussels. Quite honestly, I'm shocked I did it. Had Amy not done it with me, I never would have. We did the whole "1, 2, 3..." and swallowed it together thing. I then said, "it tastes a little like artichokes." Amy, thoroughly disgusted said, "it tastes a lot like ass." We laughed and drowned our taste buds in champagne.




Overall, I would say the food was mediocre, but that is pretty typical of resorts in our price range. We mostly drank water by day (lots and lots of water), champagne by night, though I did enjoy one or two daily dirty monkeys. I think this was Kahlua, vodka, a piece of banana, some milk, and ice blended together for awesomeness. Oh, I also tried cactus orange juice. It was...interesting.



Food vacation is over - back to South Beach diet - but work vacation still remains until Monday!




Stay tuned for another post about our actual daily vacation adventures!