First, I give you a quote. I posted this on my dry erase board at work for my employees.
If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit
May Ray in the City posted a blog yesterday about her insecurities. She posed a question: "How do you defeat negative thinking?"
This is what I commented: "I think we are often our own worst enemies as women. It really sucks. Whenever those negative thoughts creep in (and they do way too often), I try to spin it for the positive or counter it with a positive. I am pretty sure it's a practiced thing. Let's practice! =)"
Then today happened...more specifically this afternoon. As I mentioned in my Zen-Kim post, I am making an extreme effort to keep my cool at work. I've determined that cool, calm, and collected will yield better results than anxious, emotional, reactive Kim. Then today happened...more specifically this afternoon.
I am a disorganized person. This is apparent if you come to my home and/or stop by my office. I have been making an extreme effort to become better organized at work - maybe not in obvious appearance (like my desk still looks like a bomb hit it), but in creating spreadsheets to keep track of things and setting reminders on my Outlook.
What's my point? I have stepped outside my comfort zone focusing on two things that don't come naturally to me.
1. Zen-Kim
2. Organized Kim
Why did I do this? I wasn't happy with something (myself at work) and so I changed it (me).
I have been proud of myself. I feel like my work performance has been stellar. I've eagerly taken on each challenge. Then today happened...more specifically this afternoon.
Ultimately, Zen-Kim disappeared and was replaced by a crying fool. Why a fool, you ask? Well...because I lost sight of my own advice. I let someone make me insecure about something I feel very secure about (my job performance). I let other people's negativity overwhelm me.
See what I mean, lady bugs...we are our own worst enemy and our energies would be better put into warding off true enemies...you know, the external ones. I was fighting the wrong fight. Now, I may not be able to always change the negative self-talk that creeps up, but I can "spin it for the positive or counter it with a positive." So with that, I decided to make a list of the things I am good at to make myself feel better after "the incident" that was this afternoon (countering the negative, if you will).
I am a speed reader.
I am a fast and accurate typist.
I have nice lips.
I am witty.
I am a talented home decorator.
I am a creative cook.
I am a super star playing Zuma Blitz.
I have some mad logistical skills.
I am good enough. Are you? Make your own list to remind yourself that you are, indeed! Know it! Live it!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
"The Same Game" and a Recipe
I've been kind of disgusted with myself lately...I've so not been on the wagon. It's quite frustrating because back when I first started my lifestyle changed, I was so committed...so focused and it was...easy. Then my injury happened and well...I guess I've been in kind of a funk since then. It seems every week I "try" to recommit only to fail. Has this ever happened to you? Please tell me I'm not alone. I've said it before...I'm terribly undisciplined. Sure, sure...I have it in me to be disciplined, but it takes soooo much work (can you just hear my whine?). ;)
I came up with a new idea. I'm calling it "The Same Game". I plan on eating basically the same thing for breakfast and lunch every single day with a healthy light meal for dinner (at least that's this week plan - hahaha). Yeah, I have no idea how long I will be content with this, but for now, here goes:
Breakfast - a Jay Robb smoothie made with unsweetened almond milk and a banana. I can, of course, opt to turn this into a green monster by adding spinach.
Lunch - a peanut butter and jelly sammy with a Carb Master yogurt and either a colored pepper or a cucumber. I am, of course, using Simply Jif as it has less sugar than regular PB. My jelly of choice is Polaner's Sugar Free Orange Marmalade.
Snack - fruit. This week it's blackberries as they were on sale at Kroger for $1.00.
Dinner - a bag of frozen veggies with some kind of light meal preferably sans bread carbs (meaning no rice, pasta, sweet potato, or bread)
I am allowing myself the addition of a Clif's bar or a Larabar on workout days for additional fuel. I also recognize that because I am a social butterfly of sorts (read: single girl), there will probably be a dinner outing once a week in which case I will do my best to plan ahead and choose my selections wisely.
Okay, enough about all that business. Onto my recipe. Every day Allrecipes.com sends me their recipe of the day. Today's was Cheesy Chicken Meatballs. I thought this sounded yummy, so I clicked on the link. See the original recipe for yourself by going here.
I wouldn't be me if I didn't change up a recipe to make it my own, now would I? First of all, the grocery store I went to didn't have ground chicken which forced me to make Cheesy Turkey Meatballs instead. The original recipe also called for vegetable oil to be added to the meat mixture. This addition didn't make sense to me and seemed unnecessary. I read the reviews to see if anyone left this ingredient out, but all anyone mentioned was swapping olive oil for the vegetable oil which totally makes sense IF the oil is necessary. I consulted with younger sister Linda and my cute mom and they both agreed the oil could most likely be nixed (and they were right).
CHEESY TURKEY MEATBALLS
1.25 lbs 97% lean ground turkey
2 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup of Italian Cheese & Herb Cooking Creme
1/4 cup of Reduced Fat Grated Parmesan Cheese
1/4 cup of Panko bread crumbs
1 TBSP Italian seasoning
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
1 tsp Adobo seasoning
Directions
Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Spray the bottom of a cookie sheet with Pam. Mix all the above ingredients together and form into balls. I used an ice cream scooper and made large meatballs. Warning - this is VERY messy. In total, I made 15 meat balls. Bake for 17-18 minutes.
The Dish
I wanted to make a "pasta" dish with spaghetti squash, but after having no luck in finding a spaghetti squash in two different stores, I gave up and went for zucchini instead. I sliced up my zucchini in thin slices and then boiled it. I then drained it and plated it. Next, I topped my zucchini with fire-roasted diced tomatoes and a bit of shredded Parmesan cheese. I have to say the dish was delightful and I look forward to having it again tomorrow night. Oh and yes...it is South Beach Friendly (Phase 2 because of the bread crumbs).
I'm also hoping to post a new recipe each week!
Have you ever played "The Same Game"?
Friday, May 20, 2011
Zen-Kim
Oh what a week, my lovelies...what a week!
I've mentioned my profession before - I manage a moving company. Guess what happens in the summer? We get busy...like ridiculously busy...like hold on to your hats, party people, cuz it's about to get cRaZy up in here busy.
I like it.
I thrive off of it.
Everybody has those few things in this world they are good at...their talents, if you will. I'm good at my job. I'm even better at it under pressure.
If I have too much time to do something...it doesn't get done until the last minute. I'm a procrastinator, but not because I'm lazy. Nope. It's much deeper than that. It's because my creative and productive juices flow freely when there are no other options.
I like it when my day flies by and I have that sense of accomplishment knowing I made a difference.
Here's the thing. I can get pretty intense. I can let the stresses get to me, the anxiety overwhelm me. I can take my frustrations out on others and vent until people are tired of listening to my whining/complaints.
I don't want to be like that this summer. I want to be calm and rational. I don't want to sweat the small stuff. I want to have a clear head to solve problems more...altruistically. I realize that people vibe off of me. If I demonstrate patience and peacefulness, others will follow suit.
My parents left town on Wednesday and jokingly told me to stare at a picture of their dog to find my Zen-state. No, I don't think Oliver truly gave me this inspiration. I think the very idea of it just made me laugh. My Zen-state is coming from within...perhaps it's maturity...perhaps it's wisdom...perhaps it's me realizing that my work is exhausting enough without adding all the unnecessary emotions.
I stayed at work super late last night finishing up some work. While doing so, I was inspired to fill up my dry erase board with some encouragement/words of wisdom, etc for my employees to see this morning when they arrived at work.
I asked a question.
At the end of the day, can you say you have tried your best?
I answered it.
Yes - Congratulations...this is what it is all about! Keep up the great work!!! =)
No - What improvements can you make tomorrow to turn this around? What lessons did you learn?
This doesn't have to be applied to my employees. This can be applied to me...to you...to us all. Isn't the name of the game just to try our best? Sometimes we have an off day. It happens. We must pick up the pieces, learn the lesson, and move on. Other days we have experienced accomplishment, bliss, freedom, happiness, etc... Isn't the feeling of elation we get from those good days enough to make us work harder to recover from the bad?
I should hope so. I know so.
After a whole week of practicing "responding" versus "reacting" to all the curve balls thrown my way, I can say that I am pleased with my efforts. I feel empowered to take on the rest of the summer with the exact same zeal.
Hopefully Zen-Kim can remain for the entirety of the summer, just taking it all in stride.
Enjoy your weekend, I know I will.
I've mentioned my profession before - I manage a moving company. Guess what happens in the summer? We get busy...like ridiculously busy...like hold on to your hats, party people, cuz it's about to get cRaZy up in here busy.
I like it.
I thrive off of it.
Everybody has those few things in this world they are good at...their talents, if you will. I'm good at my job. I'm even better at it under pressure.
If I have too much time to do something...it doesn't get done until the last minute. I'm a procrastinator, but not because I'm lazy. Nope. It's much deeper than that. It's because my creative and productive juices flow freely when there are no other options.
I like it when my day flies by and I have that sense of accomplishment knowing I made a difference.
Here's the thing. I can get pretty intense. I can let the stresses get to me, the anxiety overwhelm me. I can take my frustrations out on others and vent until people are tired of listening to my whining/complaints.
I don't want to be like that this summer. I want to be calm and rational. I don't want to sweat the small stuff. I want to have a clear head to solve problems more...altruistically. I realize that people vibe off of me. If I demonstrate patience and peacefulness, others will follow suit.
I stayed at work super late last night finishing up some work. While doing so, I was inspired to fill up my dry erase board with some encouragement/words of wisdom, etc for my employees to see this morning when they arrived at work.
I asked a question.
At the end of the day, can you say you have tried your best?
I answered it.
Yes - Congratulations...this is what it is all about! Keep up the great work!!! =)
No - What improvements can you make tomorrow to turn this around? What lessons did you learn?
This doesn't have to be applied to my employees. This can be applied to me...to you...to us all. Isn't the name of the game just to try our best? Sometimes we have an off day. It happens. We must pick up the pieces, learn the lesson, and move on. Other days we have experienced accomplishment, bliss, freedom, happiness, etc... Isn't the feeling of elation we get from those good days enough to make us work harder to recover from the bad?
I should hope so. I know so.
After a whole week of practicing "responding" versus "reacting" to all the curve balls thrown my way, I can say that I am pleased with my efforts. I feel empowered to take on the rest of the summer with the exact same zeal.
Hopefully Zen-Kim can remain for the entirety of the summer, just taking it all in stride.
Enjoy your weekend, I know I will.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Day 20: We don't need no education.
Day 20 - How important you think education is.
Good question.
I remember having conversations with some girlfriends several years back when we were all discussing what qualities we were looking for in our future mates. Many of my friends REQUIRED a college degree. I did not understand this. Perhaps they had never heard of a little thing called a trade or a skill. If a person has a special trade or skill, then a college degree isn't always necessary.
Let's look at my employees, for example. I manage a moving company. My drivers make $60,000 to $80,000+ per year. Do you think they went to college? I may have had some that attended a couple of years. I may even have one or two that graduated, but the vast majority did not and yet they are fully benefited men making a very healthy income.
My father never went to college. He is one of the smartest and most successful people I know.
My brother never graduated from college (he says he retired). He works for the same company I do, making a very similar salary. Is he less a person for not having put in his full 4 years at an educational institution? I should think not. He just went down a different path.
So, I suppose it would suffice to say that I think higher education is important dependent upon what it is you are trying to accomplish. One can surely not practice medicine or law without additional schooling and certain degrees, for example.
Other than that...to each their own. I feel like work experience breeds true knowledge and that with knowledge comes power. Take that as you may.
Good question.
I remember having conversations with some girlfriends several years back when we were all discussing what qualities we were looking for in our future mates. Many of my friends REQUIRED a college degree. I did not understand this. Perhaps they had never heard of a little thing called a trade or a skill. If a person has a special trade or skill, then a college degree isn't always necessary.
Let's look at my employees, for example. I manage a moving company. My drivers make $60,000 to $80,000+ per year. Do you think they went to college? I may have had some that attended a couple of years. I may even have one or two that graduated, but the vast majority did not and yet they are fully benefited men making a very healthy income.
My father never went to college. He is one of the smartest and most successful people I know.
My brother never graduated from college (he says he retired). He works for the same company I do, making a very similar salary. Is he less a person for not having put in his full 4 years at an educational institution? I should think not. He just went down a different path.
So, I suppose it would suffice to say that I think higher education is important dependent upon what it is you are trying to accomplish. One can surely not practice medicine or law without additional schooling and certain degrees, for example.
Other than that...to each their own. I feel like work experience breeds true knowledge and that with knowledge comes power. Take that as you may.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Day 19: Parents Just Don't Understand...or do they?
 |
| from our High Tacky Texas Tea |
This little challenge intrigues me. I mean some of the days are so obvious like 30 facts about yourself clearly states that one is to list 30 facts about oneself. Then there is this whole weird one that leaves me perplexed as to what it wants from me. Does it want me to tell of a time I disrespected my parents? Seems kind of silly at this stage of the game / time of my life. I'm 34, after all.
For the most part, I was a good kid. Sure, sure...my mouth always got me into trouble. I really really like to have the last word. I really really don't like to be told "no". Somethings never change, by the way. =D
I never snuck out of the house.
I never hung out with people my parents didn't approve of (well...until him, but I was 29, so...)
I never did drugs.
I never stole.
In case you haven't caught on, I come from a very close-knit family. We get together every Saturday for family lunch. This past Saturday, following family lunch, we all went to the movies together. I speak with my parents and most of my siblings pracitically every day. We truly enjoy spending time together and this, my friends, is priceless.
I think there is a ding Ding DING moment that goes off in every person's head at some point in their life (assuming the individual grew up in a loving home) when they realize how gosh darn lucky they are. Mine was in college. It just took hearing other people's stories or knowing other people's situations to make me realize how truly blessed I was/am. My relationship with my parents has just continued to blossom over the years. I do not take it for granted.
Here is what I will say...my parents made it clear they were not our friends back then. They established rules and made us adhere to them. Even when other kids were allowed to do things, my parents stuck to their guns based on their value system. The parentals had a solid foundation and were united in supporting it. We never doubted their love for each other or for us.
I only hope to be the same kind of parent someday to my own children.
 |
| how cute are they? |
Friday, May 13, 2011
book worm
I'm annoyed with Blogger because I had written an entire post about books and my passion for reading and somehow it has mysteriously vanished. It was only awaiting editing and picture insertion. RAR! BOO!
So here goes another shot...
I was saying how while on vacation I got behind on reading my favorite blogs because I was so distracted by reading The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins. Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever been so absorbed in a book that everything else ceases to exist until the book has been read from cover to cover? I have obviously. Is that weird? It's not like it happens all the time. In fact, I think a book has to be awfully special to get the undivided attention of this A.D.D. girl.
Reading has always been a bit of a passion of mine. It started when I was a child and continued through the years. I would get hooked on certain authors and read anything and everything they produced and then just wait them out until they released a new novel. That gets VERY expensive, by the way...it really sucks being unable to wait for the soft cover release. Sure, I know there are other options these days...you can reserve a book at your local library, you can download on your eReader, you can borrow a friend's...BUT back in the day...well...I was impatient.
I remember somewhere around 5th grade, I went on a desperate search throughout our home for something...anything to read. I ended up with Of Mice and Men. No joke. So, at the ripe old age of 9 or 10, I took on an American Classic because...it was there.
I remember reading under my sheets by flashlight when I was supposed to be under my sheets asleep.
I remember my obsession with the mysteries/thrillers even at a young age. I still own the two scariest books I ever read:
What young girl didn't love Nancy Drew?
So here goes another shot...
I was saying how while on vacation I got behind on reading my favorite blogs because I was so distracted by reading The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins. Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever been so absorbed in a book that everything else ceases to exist until the book has been read from cover to cover? I have obviously. Is that weird? It's not like it happens all the time. In fact, I think a book has to be awfully special to get the undivided attention of this A.D.D. girl.
Reading has always been a bit of a passion of mine. It started when I was a child and continued through the years. I would get hooked on certain authors and read anything and everything they produced and then just wait them out until they released a new novel. That gets VERY expensive, by the way...it really sucks being unable to wait for the soft cover release. Sure, I know there are other options these days...you can reserve a book at your local library, you can download on your eReader, you can borrow a friend's...BUT back in the day...well...I was impatient.
I remember somewhere around 5th grade, I went on a desperate search throughout our home for something...anything to read. I ended up with Of Mice and Men. No joke. So, at the ripe old age of 9 or 10, I took on an American Classic because...it was there.
I remember reading under my sheets by flashlight when I was supposed to be under my sheets asleep.
I remember my obsession with the mysteries/thrillers even at a young age. I still own the two scariest books I ever read:
What young girl didn't love Nancy Drew?
Pretty sure I then played around with the young adult thrillers like Christopher Pike and Richie Tankersley Cusick while still maintaining a healthy balance of Sweet Valley Twins and S.E. Hinton. I just counted up my Christopher Pike novels as I mentioned them in my 30 Factoids post and discovered I have 34 books in my collection.
In high school, I moved on to V.C. Andrews, Stephen King, Dean Koontz.
In college, I moved on to ... romance-ish novels written by favorites Nora Roberts and Judith McNaught.
Post college, I've jumped all over the place. I discovered non-fiction, BUT probably not the genre that most people opt for as I have a bit of a morbid mind. This means I've been fascinated by Ann Rule's novels - she researches and writes about serial killers. I also jumped on the Harry Potter and Twilight bandwagons. I mean a girl needs to keep up with pop culture! Of course, other authors of interest include Dan Brown, John Gresham, Ann Rice, Jodi Picoult, Iris Johansen, Tami Hoag, Jennifer Weiner, Barbara Delinsky, Greg Isles, and Lisa Gardner...just to name a few.
So, I thought I would take this opportunity to share some of my favorite books of all time with you. These are in no particular order, by the way.
Kane and Abel by Jeffrey Archer - an oldie, but goodie. This is an epic novel that chronicles two men born on the same day as their lives are destined to cross...at some point.
Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner - the only book I've ever read that made me both laugh out loud and cry.
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows - bought this book not knowing a thing about it since I saw that my friend Sarah was reading it. The story is told in a series of letters back and forth amongst the characters in this quirky novel. It's a quick, heartwarming read.
Paradise by Judith McNaught - steamy book with a great storyline
The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb - This book took the author 10 years to write and it's no wonder considering how many directions the reader is taken. No worries...it's all worth the roller coaster ride (and the 1000 page journey) as you read this fascinating tale that weaves historical events into a fictional story.
Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen - yeah, yeah...I know they just released the movie. Wait a while before reading the book if you have seen the movie, though I will say that the movie was one of the best book adaptations I've seen to date. This is another great book with wonderful characterizations. If memory serves me correctly, this was the debut novel for this author, as well. Impressive stuff!
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold - another debut novel and another one made into a movie. I must confess, however, that I have not yet seen this movie. The book is wonderful...beautifully written, in fact.
Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz - yet another roller coaster ride of a book. I'm fairly certain I held my breath during certain parts because of the level of intensity. This is a unique Dean Koontz book and while I have enjoyed the majority of his novels, this one sticks out above the rest.
Now...give me a favorite of yours!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
answered prayers
Some of you may or may not know that I'm back on the market. No, no...I can't be bought. Well...wait a minute...if the price is right, maybe I can be. I kid, I kid....
I'm single...again. It's okay, though. Have you ever seen the movie Some Kind of Wonderful? Growing up, my family was big into movies. We still are, actually...but life seems to get in the way. My dad liked to get messages out of movies and then use them to teach us about life, if that makes any sense. So the message he wanted us to walk away with from Some Kind of Wonderful is that it is better to be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong reasons.
My parents raised all 4 of their children to be independent. As I wrote in my Day 18: What I believe post, I believe it is important for everyone to know they are capable of being self-supporting. I know that I am capable of taking care of myself. I have proven this over the course of the past 12 years. In other words, I never have to fear getting involved with someone just because I know they can take care of me. On the flip side of that, however, I can see how my independence could perhaps hinder me in a relationship, as well.
It is true that I want to be a wife to a wonderful man and a mother to beautiful children, but above that, I NEED to be happily married so that a strong foundation is built for those children. In order to be happily married, I feel two people must be on the same page on many different subjects. That isn't to say that there won't be some compromising or conceding, but for the most part, the basic fundamentals need to be similar...the couple needs to be compatible.
Though the guy I was dating was very nice, polite, and we did have fun together, I had some concerns. There is really no reason to go into specifics. The thing was, I couldn't be sure if the concerns were as a result of issues from my past haunting me or perhaps I was being too particular/picky or maybe I was just plain too used to being "all by myself" in the famous words of Celine Dion.
Now let me insert a purposeful sidetrack here...
Many many moons ago, I got called for my very first jury duty. I thought it was really cool, but the timing was bad because of work. I posponed it to the very last day it could be postponed. It seemed like a smart decision at the time. Low and behold, work decided they needed to send me out to another office to train someone. I was to fly out the day after my jury duty. This ultimately meant I could not get picked. I have always taken issue with people who made up ridiculous lies to get out of jury duty. I could never and would never claim a prejudice, for example, for such a thing. I prayed for a legitimate reason to become apparent to me...and it did. The case was criminal in nature and ultimately the defendent was allegedly busted with recreational cocaine. We, as jurors, IF we found him guilty would have to be able to consider the full scope of punishment for this crime. The full scope of punishment was 2 to 99 years in prison. Well for crying out loud, I could not send a man to jail for up to 99 years with my tax paying dollars because he chose to throw his life away on recreational drugs. BAM - that's an answered prayer in my book.
Now back to our regularly scheduled program...
I prayed that if this fellow was not the right guy for me, that all doubts would be cast out of my head. In other words, please dear Lord, make it obvious to this Aggie!
Without going into unnecessary details, let me just say that once again my prayers were answered. Suddenly (on Monday evening), everything was crystal clear for me. This man was not to be my future husband or the father of my future children. Fundamentally on things that really matter...things that you just have to be on the same page about...we are just too different. It doesn't make him a bad guy. He's just not the right guy for me. I'm not looking for Mr. Right Now. I'm seeking out my Mr. Forever. This meant that I needed to have an uncomfortable conversation.
I did. *sigh* Last night. *sigh*
So...I'm back on the market just "wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin'" that eventually the right guy will come along so I can have my very own happily ever after...
I'm single...again. It's okay, though. Have you ever seen the movie Some Kind of Wonderful? Growing up, my family was big into movies. We still are, actually...but life seems to get in the way. My dad liked to get messages out of movies and then use them to teach us about life, if that makes any sense. So the message he wanted us to walk away with from Some Kind of Wonderful is that it is better to be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong reasons.
My parents raised all 4 of their children to be independent. As I wrote in my Day 18: What I believe post, I believe it is important for everyone to know they are capable of being self-supporting. I know that I am capable of taking care of myself. I have proven this over the course of the past 12 years. In other words, I never have to fear getting involved with someone just because I know they can take care of me. On the flip side of that, however, I can see how my independence could perhaps hinder me in a relationship, as well.
It is true that I want to be a wife to a wonderful man and a mother to beautiful children, but above that, I NEED to be happily married so that a strong foundation is built for those children. In order to be happily married, I feel two people must be on the same page on many different subjects. That isn't to say that there won't be some compromising or conceding, but for the most part, the basic fundamentals need to be similar...the couple needs to be compatible.
Though the guy I was dating was very nice, polite, and we did have fun together, I had some concerns. There is really no reason to go into specifics. The thing was, I couldn't be sure if the concerns were as a result of issues from my past haunting me or perhaps I was being too particular/picky or maybe I was just plain too used to being "all by myself" in the famous words of Celine Dion.
Now let me insert a purposeful sidetrack here...
Many many moons ago, I got called for my very first jury duty. I thought it was really cool, but the timing was bad because of work. I posponed it to the very last day it could be postponed. It seemed like a smart decision at the time. Low and behold, work decided they needed to send me out to another office to train someone. I was to fly out the day after my jury duty. This ultimately meant I could not get picked. I have always taken issue with people who made up ridiculous lies to get out of jury duty. I could never and would never claim a prejudice, for example, for such a thing. I prayed for a legitimate reason to become apparent to me...and it did. The case was criminal in nature and ultimately the defendent was allegedly busted with recreational cocaine. We, as jurors, IF we found him guilty would have to be able to consider the full scope of punishment for this crime. The full scope of punishment was 2 to 99 years in prison. Well for crying out loud, I could not send a man to jail for up to 99 years with my tax paying dollars because he chose to throw his life away on recreational drugs. BAM - that's an answered prayer in my book.
Now back to our regularly scheduled program...
I prayed that if this fellow was not the right guy for me, that all doubts would be cast out of my head. In other words, please dear Lord, make it obvious to this Aggie!
Without going into unnecessary details, let me just say that once again my prayers were answered. Suddenly (on Monday evening), everything was crystal clear for me. This man was not to be my future husband or the father of my future children. Fundamentally on things that really matter...things that you just have to be on the same page about...we are just too different. It doesn't make him a bad guy. He's just not the right guy for me. I'm not looking for Mr. Right Now. I'm seeking out my Mr. Forever. This meant that I needed to have an uncomfortable conversation.
I did. *sigh* Last night. *sigh*
So...I'm back on the market just "wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin'" that eventually the right guy will come along so I can have my very own happily ever after...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)