come what may

I picked up a graduation card for my double cousin, Nicole the other day (my mom's sister married my dad's brother - no, it's not incestuous). It said, "As you look ahead to where you're going, take the time to appreciate where you've been and to enjoy where you are, right here, right now." It had a picture of a rear view mirror on the front.

Honestly, I set out to buy her a funny card. I'm kind of a funny girl who appreciates humor over sap any day of the week, but this card called to me. I'm thinking it was because I never took the time to appreciate where I was in life as I always wanted to be two steps ahead.

It started in junior high - couldn't wait to be in high school. Then in high school - couldn't wait to be in college. Then in college - couldn't wait to be in the real world. Then once in the real world - couldn't wait to be married and have kids. As the years have marched on and I've grown older, I think how silly I was to think that at 22 I was in any position to be someone's wife when at 29 I wasn't even capable of establishing boundaries within the various relationships in my life, not to mention recognizing a bad relationship when it was staring me in the face. There is a long lesson-filled story there, of course, but all for another post if/when I decide to share. Basically, I was almost wishing away the present for some unforeseeable future with this misguided confidence it had to be better. BUT...better than what? Life wasn't so bad...it just wasn't what I wanted and yet I didn't do anything to improve my happiness. That's just plain dumb. We don't know what the future is going to hold, but we can definitely live, learn, and find a way to love our present state of being.

That's why at 33 (well, to be fair, I said it at 32 and it has carried on into 33) I say that my journey is about mind, body, spirit, and soul. It's not just the weight I have dropped so far and will continue to shed. It is about how I have challenged myself. It's about how I have stepped out of my comfort zone on many different occasions even if I didn't like the outcome, but just to say I did it. It's about establishing those boundaries and maintaining them. It's about conquering the demons that have haunted me. It's making mistakes, learning the lessons, and finding a way to forgive myself and move on. It's accepting fault in others. It's accepting failure in myself. It's being at peace. It's my life and come what may...I'm gonna live it and enjoy it because I am not guaranteed a tomorrow. This does not mean I don't still have hopes or dreams. I have many. I'm just gonna take it all day by day and continue to do my part of self-improvement.

My mom once told me that God has 3 answers to prayers. Either He grants us the desires of our hearts directly or He does so indirectly or He tells us no because he has something better in store for us.

I think somewhere along a very difficult 4 years I traveled, I lost sight of that. I'm thankful to be back on the right path.

Sunday Funday

It was nice not to set an alarm. I just slept until I woke up...naturally...sorta. I mean Penelope has been on this 4:30 to 4:45am kick lately where she is just certain the green grass is calling her name, so we got up then. Then I flipped over a few times after that and with every flip Delilah was certain that meant she either got to eat her breakfast and/or go chase the squirrels. I nipped those dreams in the bud turbo fast. So, we slept until 8:45am. Not late by any normal person's standards, but for me...well it might as well have been 10:00am. Ahhhh....

The legs were (and still are) sore from Saturday's run, but I like it!

So here was what was on tap for Sunday:

Went to the gym for a little over an hour. Did 35 minutes on the elliptical and then 30 on the bike. Then I came home to rinse off, change into my bathing suit, grab the dogs, and head over to my parent's house. Younger sister Linda joined me. I didn't have too much time over there because of the LoSt Finale event, but more on that later!

Linda brought over her doggy, Coco, and I, of course brought over my two beasts. Since I got to the house first and my parents were nowhere to be found, I let Oliver, their pup, out of jail (their bathroom) and allowed blind Penelope and Ollie to roam the backyard with my supervision since there is a pool. After about 15 minutes and still no sign of Linda (but maybe a phone call telling me she was on her way), I locked both Penelope and Oliver up and Delilah and I went swimming. My parents have a grotto under the waterfall in their pool. There were apparently 3 frogs in the grotto and Delilah and I scared 2 of them into jumping in the pool. Delilah became obsessed with the frogs. Once Coco came over, she joined in on the crazed operation to capture the frogs. The thing about Coco is that she is perfectly content with getting on the first step in the pool, but that's where her comfort zone ends. Coco ended up in the pool twice - once having fallen from the rock waterfall while on the hunt of one of the elusive frogs. Delilah kept pawing at them and sticking her nose in the water along the edge. She, too, went head first once and then swam countless laps. Twice Coco succeeded in actually getting one - once she went so far as to physically remove it from the pool. I was so scared she killed it, but thankfully on closer inspection (Linda thought I was going to give it mouth-to-mouth, but I just wanted to flip it over right side up) it was just playing dead and after getting a false sense of security, leapt right back in the pool again. After about 30 minutes of this craziness, I finally saved the frogs by using foam noodles and putting them back in the grotto. Once I brought peace and harmony back to the oasis, my parents appeared. Apparently they had been golfing and could hear our screams from the golf course. Nice. Apparently they were not so thrilled I allowed the frogs to maintain residence in the grotto. Not so nice. =/

Here are 2 pics from their...ahem...heroic efforts. If you look closely, you can see one of the "culprits" in each picture in the water.

Next, went back home to shower and change. Fed the dogs (early) because I was going to be heading to the Fairfield area to watch the LoSt season finale at Meliska's parent's house. I left the house with enough time to stop at the Outlet Mall on my way because I wanted to pick-up some SMALLER JEANS. Yes, folks...looks like I have graduated...er...downsized from size 18 to size 16. Maybe the scale isn't showing the results as fast as I'd like, but I'd say the ol' body is definitely demonstrating the signs. This is a drop in 5 sizes in less than 11 months. How can a girl complain about that?! =)

After my very quick shopping trip, I headed to the Lost finale viewing party. Meliska's mom was so awesome and made us a brisket dinner and basically waited on us hand and foot throughout the evening. She is so sweet!!!

Thoughts on the finale - I'm still processing it. I had decided a few weeks ago that I was okay with not having answers to all my questions...what was most important to me was something else entirely and I don't want to explain it on this forum in case you haven't seen it yet. I found myself getting emotional throughout the 2 1/2 hour show last night - for several different reasons and overall, I found the whole thing to be...bittersweet.

I will also add that for the past 3 years of the 6 years the show has been running, I have joined together with my friends (Meliska, Greggy-D, Todd, Joe, and others on occasion) to watch it, so I will miss our comraderie, discussion, and confusion. I look forward to the next show we can all bond over! =)

Hope you, too, had a Sunday Funday (but maybe minus the frogs)!

a wink or a smile

Yeah...I know this is a totally unflattering pic of me trying to wink and smile. =/

I first accomplished 7 miles on March 28th. That was almost 2 months ago. It was a bit difficult to swallow that pride and do the whole back-track thing PUBLICLY, no less. In other words, owning it for all to see. Wouldn't it be great if my running training was just a continuous forward progression (with the exception of purposeful tapering, of course)? Yeah, it would, but that isn't the reality.

I looked back and read my 7 Mile Successful blog. I was 8 lbs heavier then, it was at least 10 degrees cooler, I don't have specifics on the humidity, but I KNOW it wasn't like this, and I had a running buddy (younger sister Linda). My point in telling you all this is that I did the 7 miles today, but it was HARD. The first 2 miles were easy breezy. This part was actually not the norm for me. I typically struggle through the first 2-3 miles, but I had a great attitude going into it and my muscles were nice and loose courtesy of the massage I got on Wednesday (or should I call it a steamrolling - lol). I think what also helped was that I had the massage therapist take care of my upper arms which needed some major work. I'm not gonna lie - it hurt VERY BADLY, but I understood it was a necessary evil for the greater good of my body and my running.

Post run, I came home to shower and then ice my right shin. It's always something, right?!

Anyway, That Pink Girl has several times mentioned her mission to create peace and harmony between runners and bike riders. I would just be happy if my fellow runners (or heck...even walkers) would acknowledge one another. I don't require words...a nice wink (I kid, I kid...a wink would be creepy), a smile, or a nod go a long way. Today, I got two "good mornings". That made my day! I'm pretty sure I ran a good mile or better with a huge grin on my face for that alone. It doesn't take much to make me happy, y'all!

So what's on tap for next Saturday's run - I'm thinking 7 miles again...since today's 7 miles felt rough. I'm also thinking I need to GET AN EARLIER START! Goodness gracious...what is wrong with me that I can't seem to get started before 9am? It's not like the freakin' dogs let me sleep. I'm always up when the sun rises, so what's the dealio?! It would feel so much better at 7am!!! That's my goal for next week - 7am START TIME for 7 miles. I like it!

Summertime, Fridays, and some Food

Summertime is officially here. You probably think I'm referring to the season, but nope...I'm not. I'm referring to my job. Summertime = STRESS. I would say every day it's like I take a jigsaw puzzle out of a box, dumping the pieces out in front of me not knowing where to start. I finally will begin to put together the framework and feel a false sense of confidence that everything is going to be okay and then someone comes along and scatters said framework all over the desk forcing me to start over again. Once I get the frame back together and start working on the inside, seeing the big picture start to form, another person comes along and knocks the whole thing to the floor. Discouraged, I once again start from scratch and work my magic. Then there is the person who comes along and steals one of the pieces...well that's when things get really interesting, needless to say. Secretly, maybe I even like that challenge because I can get *very* creative.

Anyway, not to toot my own horn, but I'm quite good at what I do as long as you let me do my thing. I don't welcome interruption. I don't like being told "no". I don't want anything to do with people who cause me undue stress BECAUSE all those things distract me from working the magic (and make me want chocolate, but that's a whole different issue).

So, basically by the end of a Friday I am drained...not physically, but mentally and emotionally (because I take everything VERY personally) and all I want to do is have some kind of enjoyable dinner, soak in my tub, listen to some tunes, maybe read a bit, and call it a night. I, of course, am not currently dating someone, so I *totally* reserve the right to amend my Friday night's desires if/when that status changes. ;)

That brings us to tonight. I went to H.E.B. to pick me up some sushi. I'm a total mcwimpy when it comes to sushi. Basically I can only handle those rolls with the avocado, pepper, imitation crab meat, and cream cheese all rolled up with brown rice. I don't even know what they are called. I just know they are delicious and make me happy.

Oh and you know what else made me happy? Flatout makes these Artisan Flatbread fold outs that I am obsessed with - there is a 5 grain flax one that is only 100 calories with all kinds of great nutrition and I used to always be able to find them at H.E.B., but then they became popular and I couldn't find them anymore UNTIL TONIGHT! I saw two packages and I became a greedy mcgreedy and bought both of them because the good Lord knows when I will find them again - I mean it's been like 3 months since I've last seen them, y'all. Can't wait to make pizzas and quesadillas and all kinds of awesomeness with these things (they are totally South Beach friendly)! I then came home to my pups. I took my bubble bath. Now I'm listening to music, relaxing, and thinking all kinds of successful thoughts for my 7 mile run tomorrow. I'm gonna get me a good night sleep and be refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready for whatever the weekend dishes out!

What are your weekend plans?

Shut up, Sybil!

I've been struggling with my running lately. It started with my failed attempt at 9 miles back on May 1st (and then again on May 2nd) and it's just gone down hill since then. The next weekend I was traveling, so I didn't get in any running and then when I returned from vacation, I felt like I was trudging through mud. Sure, I got some mileage in this past Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, BUT...the furthest distance was only 5 miles.

I know I have PLENTY of time before my August 1st Rock 'N Roll Half Marathon...it's totally self-induced pressure...I've overcome injuries...I'm dealing with humidity...blah blah blah....yada yada yada. The biggest hurdle of all is that little voice in my head (we will call her Sybil) telling me that I'm a poser...that I'm fooling myself...that I'm not cut out for this. It's defeating, to say the least. It's disappointing, to boot.

Here are the facts - the humidity isn't going anywhere. The heat is only gonna get hotter. Time is gonna march on. The only thing I can hope to do is silence Sybil (or at least sweeten her up a bit). The problem is that sometimes she is a screamer and it's just easier to give in to her negativity than to fight it.


Instead of going for 9 this coming weekend, I'm going to do 7. It's a more reasonable number at this point. Why set myself up for more disappointment unnecessarily?

I plan on running some throughout the week just 1 to 2 miles at a time (unfortunately on the treadmill since it's too dark (read: dangerous) when I work out in the morning for me to hit the pavement cuz I don't have a running buddy). Maybe all that will change mid July when I join my running group for the full marathon training...maybe I can meet a new friend who lives nearby and wants to get up at unGodly hours with me to run on weekdays. *sigh* Until then...I need to find a way to reel Sybil in. She doesn't get to be in charge of me.

Behold: Taco Salad!

I decided I was hungry for some taco salad and so it must be.

Here's how I made it. First, I browned some 96% lean beef with a chopped up white onion.

While that was a'cookin', I dug out one of my big white bowls and filled it full of fresh spinach leaves. You see, I prefer to use spinach instead of lettuce whenever having a salad as it has greater nutritional content. Next, I diced up a Roma tomato and a small avocado. I drained a can of black beans and added 1/3 of a cup. Then, I halved a lime and squeezed the juice over the top of it all.

By this time, the beef was just about done. I added the taco seasoning mix and a spicy ranch dressing powder packet. I mixed it together really well and added a half a cup of my beef/onion mixture on top of my salad. Of course, every taco salad needs a dallup of sour cream and some salsa! This is the picture I took before I dug in and started making the pretty picture not so pretty.

Just as I was raising the fork to my mouth, I realized one VERY important detail I left out. THE CHEESE! How could I forget the "icing on the cake", y'all? I mean if you know me at all, you know that I take the whole "Behold the power of cheese" thing VERY seriously. I quickly put that fork down, darted to my refrigerator, grabbed my brand new bag of 2% 4 cheese Mexican blend and sprinkled a healthy portion upon my salad. Voila - perfection!

You can tell I'm officially back from vacation...I packed a lunch, went to Walmart during my lunch break to buy groceries, and actually cooked dinner. Cheers to a happy, healthy week!!!

Vacation Recap: Playa del Carmen

The plan was for me to drop off my dogs at the parental's house at 6:30am. Penelope was staying for the entire length of my trip and my mom was to drop off Delilah at "the doggy hotel" once they opened. My mom wanted to work with little miss blindy and Delilah is kind of a handful, so whatever worked for them was cool with me.

Amy was meeting me at my house at 7am and my dad was going to pick us both up and take us to the airport. We really didn't have to wait too long to board the flight and people-watched our way onto the plane. We took special note of a couple where the girl had obvious implants. Amy mentioned that the girl should have spent a little less money on her boobs so that she could have had enough money for a cheeseburger. I saw her cheeseburger and raised her some french fries. Let's just say the chick's outfit left little to the imagination.

Interestingly enough, the travel agent booked Amy and I across the aisle from each other. There was a guy who had the middle seat next to me who mentioned to me that his girlfriend was in the back row and that he hoped to join her if the plane wasn't full. Since Amy had intentions of sleeping the whole time, I offered to switch places with the girlfriend. They were quite thankful and I felt like I did my good deed for the day.

The flight was pretty smooth sailing until the last 15 minutes. I had befriended the people in the aisle across from me. It was a husband and wife traveling with the wife's mother. It was going to be their 19th trip to Mexico and they were telling me how they had gotten trapped in Playa del Carmen over September 11th - a pretty crazy story, actually. Anyway, about 15 minutes before we landed, we hit some pretty terrible turbulance and I was sure we were going to die. The wife of the dude across the aisle from me zoned out - she went to her happy place apparently. This meant that the husband and I talked a mile a minute to each other trying to pacify each other from thinking about other things so that we would not worry about our impending doom. The plane literally came down to the ground completely wobbly and it was very uncomfortable. Everyone gave a huge sigh of relief when we landed safely and the wife thanked me for keeping her husband company. Once we got off the plane, we had to go through Immigration, then get our bags, and then wait in the longest line ever to go through Customs. We *finally* were able to go outside and find our shuttle.

Imagine our surprise to have to wait in line next to the couple with the chick who needed the cheeseburger. Imagine our *pleasant* surprise that the boyfriend liked to hear himself talk and didn't shut up for the 20 minutes we had to stand there next to him. We also found out they were going to be on our return flight. Oh joy. We then started referring to them as our "besties".

Eventually we got on our shuttle bus and we were taken to our ridiculously huge resort, the Iberostar Paraiso Beach. It turns out that the Iberostar is a 3 resort in 1 complex. It is the Paraiso del Mar, the Paraiso Beach, and the Paraiso Lindo. Basically, there are three different reception areas and they share restaurants, the beach, the pool, and everything else you can imagine. It's so big that they offer a trolly service to get you around the properties, but honestly it's just quicker (and less lazy) to just walk the place, not to mention it's so beautiful and you never knew what kind of creature you would come across along your path.

We saw peacocks, flamingos, swans, parrots, some other kind of bird we never did identify, some kind of large lizard that we initially thought were iguanas or komodo dragons (or people who got way too tan), and even fake aardvarks. It was kinda like a petting zoo, only with creatures you would really have no desire to actually pet. We were hoping to find a llama, but no such luck.

By day, we relaxed pool side or at the beach. The beach seemed to be infinitely cooler because of the nice ocean breeze. We would often fill up our big cups (brought from home) with water and then have the bartenders make us something fruity/tropical on the side. One time, one of the bartenders misunderstood Amy's request and filled her 24 oz cup with a strawberry colada. He was quite proud of himself, too, for blending *just* the right amount to fill her cup. All poor Amy could think of was how badly she was going to dehydrate in that unforgiving sun.

Every night there was entertainment. Our first night was either Hollywood night or movie night - not sure because two of the nights were quite similar. Regardless, it was quite entertaining and we thoroughly enjoyed it. The second night we had the other one...Hollywood or movie night. It was a little less enjoyable, but not terrible. The third night was musical night and it was very well put together. In fact, of all the resorts I've been to, this was by far the best entertainment. We skipped out on the fourth night.

We decided we owed it to ourselves to partake in a spa day since our vacation was so cheap courtesy of Amy being an amazing employee at her work! We both got two treatments each. Before our treatments, we were able to enjoy the spa's different showers, jacuzzis, an aromatherapy steam room, and a relaxing pool. Then we got whisked away to our treatment rooms. I had the Paradise treatment with the perfect mixture that offers the sea and the Earth. It begins with an exfoliation with a mixture of marine salts and bee wax that not only clear the dead cells also hydrates the skin, later a mud and marine seaweed massage wrap and a neck massage with exotic essences inspiring serenity and harmony and my second treatment was a deep cleaning facial.

Overall, it was an incredibly relaxing vacation. It was so heavenly to not have to set an alarm clock, to not have to deal with the disruption of a cell phone (work phone calls) or the "need" to be on the computer. The only schedule we had to maintain was our spa appointment, our dinner reservations (8:30pm each night), and our shuttle pick-up on the final day.

We did have only 3 complaints of our resort - first...we thought the pool should have had seating in it (benches around the edges in some locations). It was a huge winding pool and my pics don't do it justice. Secondly, the bathrooms were so slippery...there should have been mats on the floors to prevent slippage. Finally, though there were some labels for some of the food at the buffets, it would have been nice if everything was labeled.

I would like to say the staff couldn't have been friendlier, the grounds couldn't have been better maintained, and even our fellow vacationers were fun to interact with!!!

Our shuttle picked us up ridiculously early to take us to the airport. Amy had a theory that it was the Mexican government's *evil* plan to force the tourists to spend ridiculous amounts of money at the airport before departing. It worked - Amy and I had a few drinks and ate some food, but I will say we had a blast doing it!

Oh, and in case you were wondering...we did see our "besties" at the airport in Cancun and in the Immigration line once we were back in Houston, but we managed to successfully avoid them.

Now it's back to reality, but of course I get to start planning next year's escapade! =D