I'm in a funk. A bad funk. I do nothing but work, think about work, play my Zuma Blitz on Facebook to zone out, read from my current book (Wither by Lauren DeStefano) to zone out, and/or watch my latest obsession on Netflix (Eureka) to...yeah, you guessed it...zone out. The zoning out is my version of survival mode to get me through this awful summer at work.
I've put on quite a bit of weight over the past few months. I'm terribly embarrassed over this. It's not just from a lack of movement. My diet plan has just been non-existent. Well, to be fair...every day I wake up with a plan, but my follow-thru sucks.
I've been getting sleep, finally. That's a plus. I'm just not happy, though, and my lack of happiness combined with my stress is causing some emotional eating.
I don't have a plan on how to get on the right track. I know that I have to get this excess weight off of me STAT. It is making me uncomfortable in mind, body, and spirit. I used to be so proud of myself and now...I just feel...discouraged, disappointed, disgusted...
My training for my upcoming half marathon is a joke. You would think I have 4 months before the race by the way I've so nonchalantly done absolutely nothing in preparation. Tonight I managed a pathetic two miles - mostly walking. My body hated it. My mind rebelled. My heart is just...not right.
I have thought about dropping from my race, but well...isn't that just too easy? What about the next one on Oct. 9th? Or Oct. 29th? Am I just going to continue to fall deeper and deeper into a hole I can't get out of?
No...I'm going to face the music and do The Hottest Half. I just know it isn't going to be pretty and that I deserve the wretched results.
So...until 8/12 when I leave for Dallas...I vow to move every day in someway. Let's see what I can do in 3 1/2 weeks. I may still be struggling emotionally, but it's time to put the big girl pants on and do something about it.
7 comments:
Sometimes, it's just time for the big girl pants. Good plan.
i can't believe you are going to do the hottest half.... you are braver than me. i'm cheering for you in my mind... you can do it, you can do it, you can do it.
Awww...I'm sorry! I've been there & I'm sort of in lull too. Too many races & too busy with too many work trips to focus on balance with eating right and having enough downtime. I'm eyeing August and vowing not to over-schedule myself again. Good luck!
<3 chin up friend! the getting moving should at least somewhat lift your spirits! sometimes it only takes one step in the right direction to help everything else fall into place. and if nothing else, you should know you have an arsenal of blogger friends pulling for you!!
It sounds like you are working to move in the right direction! Keep it up and remember we're all here pulling for ya! Remember to take a little 'you' time each day where you can decompress and get focused. That seems to help me a lot!
Sweet friend, I'm sorry that you are feeling blah. I know you are working a lot and that can really wear you down. Especially what you do, there's so little time to decompress! Plus, it's like a zillion degrees - getting I a quality workout can be a real challenge.
But you knowmthatbyou are amazing, right? Because you ARE! And I'm so excited to see you in a few weeks! I pro,ise to rake good care of you and allow you to kick back and relax!
Hang in there dear Kim. This too shall pass.
Oh sweet Kim, this too shall pass. You will succeed with your goals, this *summer* is only a minor bump in the road in the big scheme of life. Think back to the day you first started South Beach, think back to the day you first did a 5k, the first time ever you started to see results, the first time you ever got a medal for all your hard work - blood, sweat and tears work - you can do this. You have to make yourself remember why you started this healthy journey. Fuel that fire again, and that drive will come back. love, love, love YOU!
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